Diversions

If feel like cooking something try this recipe.

Chicken Ada

Cooked boneless/skinless chicken
Cooked broccoli flowerettes al dente
Shredded co-jack cheese
1 16 oz sour cream
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup

Will serve 6 healthy people.
Layer bottom of 9x13 pan with cooked al dente broccoli
Top that with cooked chicken pieces
Top that with shredded co-jack cheese, thick covering
Top that with soups and sour cream
If desired garnish with buttered bread crumbs or French's Fried Onions
Cook 35 degrees, 30 min or until sides begin to bubble

I'm feeling mean and cranky, too cranky to go out in public. I need to stay swaddled in my cocoon.

It might have to do with:
American Indians losing battles -- still.
Aging.
Playing fair, or to be more precise, not playing fair.
Gun control policies or lack thereof.
Dying rhinoceros'.
Shaming.
It might have to do with the Nestle company, mother of eight thousand products, participating in suspected child slave trade on cocoa plantations. It is National Chocolate Day today.

Chocolate is one of the most popular flavors in the world. Chocolate has been around for three millennia. Chocolate entered the English language in 1600. Americans eat 11.7 pounds of chocolate a year or Americans eat 100 pounds of chocolate every second. Every SECOND!

How about them Cubs? Actually, how about them Cubs? Is the World Series over? Is there still hope for Jason to cry?

For me it is how about that Bob Dylan?

Seattle has 237 micro-breweries according to Google. There are the top 10. Best of. Best of 2015. Micro-breweries near me. Micro-breweries for sale near me. A Micro-brewery guide. The ones downtown or the ones in the suburbs and even an Official Guide. If you want beer you could do worse than Seattle.

Someone told me at reunion, I think, about the book Playing the Enemy or Invictus. Got it, read it, it was good. I am now reading Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. No opinion yet.

I gave a friend a list of some of my past and present reads.
I will now share it with you.
Gilead -- Marilynne Robinson
Being Ester -- Miriam Karmel
Strange Fruit -- Lillian Smith
A Man Called Ove and My Grandmother Said To Tell You She's Sorry
-- Fredrick Blackman
The Reader -- Bernhard Schlink
Ready Player One -- Ernest Cline
The Last Chinese Chef -- Nicole Mones
Their Eyes Were Watching God -- Zora Neale Hurston
Watership Downs -- Richard Adams
The Curve of Time -- M. Wylie Blanchet
and
Norwegian Night -- Derek B Miller

Two Movies, or three:
Pride -- I've mentioned this one before. 2014 it still makes me cry.
Hunt for the Wilderpeople, a feel good, family friendly, fun, thoughtful film.
Next on my list is Last Cab to Darwin. I haven't seen it yet, but I have high hopes for it. It comes highly recommended. Has anyone else seen it?

Seattle weather:
"...wet, but not heavy rain, just...not really dry either."
Yep, that is a quote from our local weather page.

I need to go for a drive.
Soon.

Did you know Jackie Penin makes a terrific Thai Curry.
Do you think she will mind if I ask her for her recipe?
From the USA to the UK -- howdy British folks.

Did you see the blurb on FB about how children should be allowed to experience boredom.? I re-posted it so you should be able to find it on my timeline.

Julia's older.
Jean is magnificent to her grandchildren.
I hope Chris is hobbling nicely?
Chris did Granny make you pancakes?

I am still feeling cranky?
It might have something to do with the election. It's painful being in a family of conservatives, of, gulp, Republicans. I know who the seven other liberals are and I thank you for it. Only a few more days to go. I hope the diversions divert you if only for a bit.

Sing a love song. Sing any song. Think of Kathy Noland. Toddle a baby. Walk a dog. Read a book. Smell a flower. Plant a flower. Buy a flower. The flowers Ian purchased for me when I came home from reunion are still nice. Fish. Run. Go back to college. Write something.

Dammit.
Things change.
Things will always change
May the change be ever in your favor.
After diversions;
Go vote.

Here is a poem for your final diversion and inspiration.
Compliments of the book Invictus not to mention the author William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 

A Thoughtful Reunion Full of Diversity

Check list:

Goodie box, fishing, rain, wind, heat, moon, fire, flagline, baby, aunties, Jackson made a bow holder for Elsie out of a branch, Chris broke his ankle, busy Nurse Jane, Jean's coffee, Julia's walking stick, Donna's Burgers, fried okra, Branson and Jackson were the gold standard, (Jason is silver, Chris Miller is bronze, and Nora isn't even in the ranking), Janice looked great, Art was spry, Kenny hauled, some of us had our daily naps, Cara, post surgery, survived everything, GG brought "cheap shrimp", may he forever bring the "cheap shrimp" and the shrimp boil pot, pumpkins were painted, bacon infused vodka bloody Marys were the bomb, potatoes were roasted, Mike photographed, everyone else pretended to, there were more republicans than me, with a few fence sitters -- curses, Gloria only came on Monday, Haley and Chloe say they will come back. If you know who they are then you are a champion reunion goer.

The only thing missing was Jeff.

We honored him in an elemental way: accidentally not intentionally.
Earth, Wind/Air, Fire, and Water. 

Earth: We planted the Memory Tree. The delivery was early, the park dug the hole, the Pin Oak was raised, the perfect symmetry of a beautiful tree will honor Jeff always.
Wind/Air: The flagline blew and the spectacular Harvest Moon rose and bathed the camp with its full golden light. You couldn't help but feel Jeff was gazing down somehow.
Fire: The fire ceremony that was a vigil after all. Quiet and loving and moving and dignified and teary, a soft pause to remember Jeff. All flickering flame and gentle glow with tears streaming down our cheeks. Love was in the air.
Water: Saturday morning Jerry organized, prepared, and presented a champagne toast. He choked up when he tried to talk of our missing brother and our love for him. A love that can't be summed up in words.

Saturday evening Julia presented a toast with a mystery bottle of scotch that had been found in Jeff's belongings and no one knew where it came from, an old, dusty bottle. Julia said, "He didn't even like scotch, he would have given me any he had." The toast was drunk with only a few squelched eyes. How he came by the bottle remains a mystery, as does his death

He died too young. He died too vibrant. He died too full of love for us to let go easily.

Reunion just wasn't the same. It felt stiff and displaced and odd. Jerry said like a swarm of bees looking for its queen. Julia said like a flock of birds looking for a place to land. We didn't know where to sit, where to build a camp fire, where to find him. Jeff was gone and we felt it acutely.

Waves of sadness intermingled with happy smiles, events, remembrances. Adorable Branson telling me "Aunt Ju Ju watch me." after I teased him that he had to take care of Aunt Ju Ju and not let her get hurt or lost. The tree was perfect, thank you Jerry and Amber. As were the t shirts, thank you Mark Harris, and flagline thank you Jeffery William Taylor. The kids running amok was perfect, Brittany bathing Branson, baked potatoes went off without a hitch, Chris' broke foot that was a downer but could have been worse. He might not have had 40 family members, two professionals, multiple drivers, and one bartender to assist him. Alcohol might have been involved. There was a bit of alcohol around the fire. More than usual anyway. Breakfast Bailey's was perfect. Jean's cookies were perfect. Jackson making a mad dash up the hill to get his secret stash of cookies was perfect. Heat, humidity, temperature drop, rain, and bluster were par for the course. Egg salad, corn bread salad, pasta salad, and kale salad were all good. As Julia says, "If we aren't making food, or eating food, we are talking about food.

The diversity of our honoring him reminded me of how diverse our family is. Diversity in looks, politics, careers, health, wealth, activities. How can we love someone so completely when they are so different from ourselves? We are a tribe of Earth, Wind/Air, Fire and Water.

Diversity in books:

Art -- Her Mother's Shadow, Diane Chamberlin
Chris D -- The Fellowship of the Rings
Blaine -- physics textbook
Taylor -- House of Sky
GG -- Cabella's Fall Catalog, and ebay
Chloe -- magazines, she does have an active boy who licks truck tires
Andrew -- True Grit
Lexi -- History textbook
Avery -- The Wolf at the Door
Mark -- Boundaries for Leaders
Haley -- The Happiness Project
Julia -- Sanctuary, Nora Roberts
Jerry -- Total War, or Absolute war, I can't read my notes
             and Sometimes a Great Notion
Cathy -- Live the Dash
Lynn -- Bible,
             Killing Lincoln,
             Killing Jesus
             The Improbability of Love
Kathy -- Moby Dick -- still?
Amber -- House of Sky
Mary Lee -- The Devil in the White City
Michael -- The Boys Who Challenged Hitler
                  He recommends -- The Boy on the Wooden Box
                  And all the I Survived series
Jane -- Kinfolk
Branson -- The Little Blue Truck Halloween
Summer -- Odyssey
Jackson -- The Lightning Thief
Maddie -- Harry Potter, The Sorcerer's Stone
Chris M -- The Girl With All The Gifts
Nora -- The Professor and The Madman
Marc -- The Four Hour Body
Tal -- Red Mars
Mike -- To Kill a Mockingbird
Jean -- All The Light We Cannot See
Jan -- The Shell Collector
Gloria -- The Voyage: A historical novel set during the Holocaust,
               inspired by real events by Roberta Kagan.

Now that is diversity in a nutshell.

I somehow missed people, there were 44 in attendance and I didn't get the babies; Tripp's, Elam's or Elsie's books. I missed Jordan, Jennifer, Janice, Brittany, Clark, Chibi, Kenny, Cara, Hannah, and Ed. I apologize to those I missed.

Mike Noland the books I was trying to remember for you are: Walking the Bible, Bruce Feiler and The Way, it is a book from 1934, but most people refer to the movie.

And who mentioned the book to me Playing The Enemy, by John Carlin?

In all our diversity we had a family reunion to honor Jeff. How many ways? A fire ceremony, a tree planting, a bacon fest, a high flying flag line, and a toast or two. We remember Jeff's warmth, love and humor with love and affection. We are connected to you, your family, and Greenleaf. And your hugs, we remember your hugs.

Missing Jeff or not. Loving Jeff or not. Being different or not.
The sun came up and the sun set and the earth turned and we are born and die and that's the way it is.

Brother Love Traveling Show

Brother love traveling show is traveling to Greenleaf to shine a light on Jeff.

Don't forget your stick or candle for the fire ceremony. It will sort of be like a candlelight vigil -- but LOUD.

Jeff wanted fireworks and dancing ladies but this is the best we can do. Since we can't shoot off fireworks does anyone know if popcorn tossed in the open fire will pop, or will it just burn? Or what would light up, sizzle or pop in a fire? I'm not enough of a chemist to know. I might bring bacon.

We will surround the fire pit with sticks, candles, mementos, prayers, and thoughts of gratitude and love. Jane will be in charge of the dancing ladies, right Jane?

...however I doubt there will be dancing naked in the moonlight.

Jeff wasn't a genius, he wasn't famous, he wasn't rich, what he was was a father, brother, uncle, cousin, and friend. He made us happy. We smiled and laughed in his presence. How many people can claim that? We stood in awe of his powers of wit and humor, of his turn of phrase.

We are going to whoop it up for Jeff.
Jeff would for any of us.
This won't be one of those silent, respectful vigils.
Remember,
This is for Jeff.

Jeff's ashes will be brought to Greenleaf, his remains will remain there forever. A place he loved and delighted in. Like Jeff, Greenleaf isn't rich or famous, but he loved claiming it as the repository of so many of his beloved memories. He always said, "It's not the best or most beautiful place in the world, but it's where my families memories are. It's where we go to celebrate." A lifetime of memories, even more memorable now with Jeff always sharing our joy.

A memento I'm bringing to burn is a bamboo stalk I plucked from the Greenleaf swamps when Jeff, Jason, Jerry and I hiked the perimeter of the lake. The one where Jeff decreed that " anything over eight miles is a backpacking trip, not a hike." The one where Jason't feet hurt so so bad he couldn't take one more step -- until -- we got to the end and he started to play. He ran up the bank, down the bank, throwing rocks and sticks, chasing ducks -- sore feet forgotten -- Ah, youth.

That was the New Year's Eve trip that was freezing and icy. The cabins lost power. We drank Jerry's 30 year old scotch out of Tupperware coffee cups. We might of got a bit sloshed.

The cardinals were in town and every tree along the river's edge had flocks of bright red cardinals, hundreds of them on the bare tree branches. It was pretty. Jean made a hearty stew for us to gorge on when we exited out of the woods and we hardly ate. Too tired. We did consume massive amounts the next day.

One of my favorite experiences on one of my favorite days.

I said sixteen miles, Jeff said how ever many miles I claimed, he would agree to it. Oh, Jeff, you will be missed. That's the day I discovered my brothers healthy "respect" for snakes.

On the day of the hike the icy weather warmed up beautifully after a mile or two of trudging, but oddly, when we stopped to snack, eat, rest or pee it got colder, then miraculously when we started hiking it warmed up again. I was amazed  -- until my brothers explained to me the principle of exercise creating body heat. Show-offs.

That bamboo stalk has reminded me for 25 years what I was capable of and Jeff's part in it. His willingness to share the experience with joy. It is going in the fire. At least I think I am bringing it if I can get it past the TSA agents. Try explaining a dusty, dried, shriveled up 25 year old bamboo stalk to them. "You want to do what?" Yes, sir, it is for a fire ceremony. Jeff would love it.

Make it loud.
Make it proud.

Make it Jeffilicous.

On Any Given Day

On any given day, one or multiples act up.

Here is an inventory -- of sorts -- about growing old. Starting at the top of my head and moving down, including the unmentionable parts, a walking talking example of geriatric ailments.

Introducing one mixed up body:

Head -- gray haired and thinning.
     No constant, throbbing, recurring headaches -- thankfully.
Eyes -- about done in, poor sight, eyeglasses, cataracts getting stronger.
Skin -- skin cancer hither and yon.
Teeth -- about gone.
Ears -- hearing loss, hearing aids, but not deaf -- yet.
Neck -- stiff with arthritis -- old age ain't for sissies.
Back -- pretty constant tension between shoulder blades.
Back part II -- sore and twitchy.
Lungs -- duh, COPD from 50 years of smoking.
Left shoulder -- muscle ache.
Right shoulder -- metal ache from that 10 inch rod inserted after my graceful fall.
Elbow -- strange growth that won't go away. Big growth.
Wrist -- smidgen of carpel tunnel. 30 years typing on a computer.
Heart -- it has had its problems, but ticking.
Stomach -- a veritable pin cushion from insulin shots.
Muscles -- weak, I can't open jars or heft pans like I used to.
Unmentionable -- infection, probably a yeast infection as a result of the antibiotics I took for strange growth that won't go away.
An aside: you should see Ian bring me what I need, yogurt and cranberry juice and ask me how I feel, without ever mentioning the unmentionable.
Hemorrhoids -- you know where.
Bladder -- um, weak, unless I go to the bathroom every 37 minutes or so.
Right knee -- torn meniscus, intermittent pain, here today, gone tomorrow.
Left knee -- just stiff, painful, and creaky.
Legs -- restless leg syndrome,
  but who else get medication with the side effect suicide.
Ankles -- wobbly, sometimes swollen.
Body -- wobbly, need cane.
Sleep -- what is sleep?
Bones -- lost somewhere according to doctors.
Boobs are okay.

Fat
No exercise
Diabetic
High blood sugar
High cholesterol

I'm sure I forgot something.

I can't beat Julia but I do have an assortment of doctors.
Jerry told his neighbor that when he and Jane go out, they are going for a doctor appointment.

So there you are, an assortment of the coming attractions that Jeff mentioned once and we have oft repeated since. We miss Jeff.

Whimper, groan, whine all you want, but bring your rickety body to the reunion .

Did Cinderella's fairy Godmother have a bad back?

On reflection not all of these ailments are age related. Damn!

Through the Fog and Mist

We will be traveling to reunion soon. I feel I am approaching it through fog and mist. An unknown will unfold before me, a reunion without Jeff. How will we do it? I know we will survive. I know we will get through it. I know there will be tears. I know there will be campfires, conversations, kids, bacon, lots of bacon, and all the other aspects that we all hold dear  -- but no Jeff.

A family reunion in which we will honor Jeff. A fire ceremony, a tree planting ceremony, a bacon fest, and lots high flying flags -- Jeff's last reunion legacy.

We want to honor Jeff by commemoration. We want to honor him by continuation. Continue to fish, continue to gather for coffee on Jean's porch, continue mimosas with Chris and Nora. or at least I hope Chris and Nora feel so inclined.

Ahead is a dimly lit traditional family reunion, it is there, but I'm heading to it through fog and mist. Jeff was such an integral part. He maintained the campfire, wrangled the logs, axes, chairs. He strung lights, baked bread, and relaxed in his chair. He strung the first flag line, kind of like reaching the top of Mt Everest, he planted first the idea and then the reality. He planted that flag line firmly in family tradition. 

Seeing the reunion in my mind's eye without Jeff is almost impossible, but still I will be traveling to it soon, driving down that twisty road to embrace family like I always have -- that won't change. The change will be the missing shade tree, the empty chair, the empty space that was Jeff.

Our reunions have survived the loss of mother, the loss of dad, the loss of James and Josephine, it will survive the loss of Jeff. But this reunion will be heavy with that loss. This reunion will be the fog and mist before we emerge on the other side in a different way. A different family. The same -- yet changed.

I imagine our hearts will break in a million untold ways. Creative Mark is busy with a t shirt design, I'm searching bacon recipes, Jean is planing menus, each and every one of our traditional activities will break our hearts a little bit at a time, yet in the end healing will emerge, also a little bit at a time.

A strong, beautiful, vibrant family will continue to weave itself into the strong fabric of life as our legacy continues in our strong beautiful families, all of our families. My three sons, Jerry's children and grandchildren and great grandgirl, Jean's brood, far flung Janice, Julia's bunch.

The legacy Jeff was most proud of was the legacy of his children and grandchildren. They survive. They are here, alive, vibrant, warm, woven of the strong stuff Jeff passed on to them. His glory.

Jeff did impact us all in such a positive way. That impact transferred and continues on, it doesn't stop with his death. The impact of that goodness, of humor, of joy ripples out continuously. Remember Jeff commanding base camp with the walkie talkies?

A reunion approaches honoring family, tenacity, joy, bacon. Jeff would lead the way for feet propped up, toes dangling off the dock, hikes heading off into the woods, the trek up and down the cabin hill, fire poking, weiner roasting, goodie box grazing.

I'm going to the reunion not knowing what to expect -- except the sun will rise and the sun will set, and all of us trying to be like Jeff. 

A Days Drive

A days drive is like a walk in the park. They (Jerry, Jane, Mark, and Amber) clamored off the cruise ship with their travel engines pumped and headed North to Mukilteo and Patty's Egg Nest. I had to meet them there because there was no room in Jerry's vehicle with four bodies and one-thousand pounds of luggage.

After a luggage drop off and a Jan pick-up...

We hit the ground running. Patty's did not disappoint. The Mukilteo Ferry to Whidbey Island did not disappoint. Seabolt's in Oak Harbor for clam chowder and fish and chips did not disappoint. The drive, scenery, Mt Erie, and Sips Ahoy were equally satisfying. The Sips Ahoy bikini barista was mostly clothed from what I could see, however, Jerry, Mark, and Amber who saw her derriere said she did not disappoint even if she had a little bitty t-shirt on top. She did have beautiful eyes.

Jerry and I were 100% satisfied and yakked the whole way. Amber was about 73% satisfied with the drive through the woods up Whidbey Island, and Mark about 59%. Although they did doze off and on, Amber assured me dozing off and on had nothing to do with how much they drank on their last night on the cruise ship. And Jane in the rumble seat? Well, Jane quietly took it all in.

We arrived back in Mukilteo in time to meet-up with the boys for dinner at Ivar's where the clam chowder and fish and chips did not disappoint...

... and neither did the boys.

I couldn't hear all that was being said because Jerry and I were at one end of the long table yakking, but I could hear laughter, lots of laughter, emanating from the other end. Roger and Christian can talk every bit as much at Mark and Amber. Jane? Well, Jane and Ian sat quietly.

Today the Harris' go home to rescue their dogs, jobs, daughter, and little Miss Elsie, the boys head to work, and Jerry, Jane and I will hit on a perfect exploratory excursion. Woods or ocean? Ocean I think, that is something they don't have in Okie City. And Jane will -- well, you know.


Bertrand Russel:
"Love is wise, hatred is foolish."

Gandhi:
"Truth is God and God is truth."
"Where there is love there is life. Hatred leads to distruction."

All About Jeff

My last blog, months ago, was about Jeff. A more joyous hopeful blog than fills my heart today. We would have liked for Jeff to stick around and see how things worked out. Jeffery William Taylor we loved you.

The family landscape has changed. Like plate tectonics there has been a powerful shift. Our world was rocked, our life altered, our hearts broke. The sun has set on that part of our lives that was shared with Jeff.

I didn't know Jeff's shoe size -- it was big like his heart. We all heard the story of how he was too big to donate his body to science. That's a pretty good indication of how big his heart was.

Or what kind of music he listened to -- his laughter was music to us all.

How did he take his steak? I don't know how he took his steak because he was busy eating bacon not steak.

What was he scared of besides snakes? Not a dang thing.

There is a lot about Jeff that I don't know, but what I do know is how he loved and who he loved. Family, with a special niche for grandchildren. I know he loved relaxed. He loved funny. He loved big.

The main thing you need to know about Jeff  is he was a "Yes" man. Or to be more specific he was a "Yep" man, a "Sure" man. A "SWEET" man. He was always ready for an experience, or an adventure  no matter how big or small. Zoo, a walk in the woods, ride a boat, move some furniture, fix a flat, museum prowling, train riding, trip going, driving, climbing, hiking, camping, coffee, food, party, aquarium. "Let's go to Missouri for a hot dog." Sweet! Let's go sleep with tigers." Sweet!

Stories abound:

Telling Jerry he had no control over a situation. "Just go to the end of your chain and bark."

My new jeans with a rhinestone butterfly on the rear. "That's not a butterfly, that's a b-52 bomber."

After hiking about 15 miles around Greenleaf lake. "I learned anything over 8 miles is a back packing trip."

On not having enough money for retirement. "I'll eat dog food and sit in the dark to retire."

He took me to a local grocery store so I could admire the width and breadth of the parking spaces. Spaces big enough for a 1984 Lincoln Continental, not some puny-ass Prius. Parking spaces big enough for the senior citizen's Cadillac or all the other old luxury cars still residing in Bella Vista. He did have some humor.

Laying a beloved brother to rest was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Don't ask me why but it was harder than James with the family history of heart disease. Harder than Mother with her fragile health. Harder than Josephine, she being the oldest.

But Jeff? The lively one, the funny one, you young one. How can all that joy and spirit be gone? Not lost, just gone.  How can a life be over and not finished?

If we are going to talk about Jeff there should be a campfire to commend his spirit to Heaven. A BIG campfire.

I was so angry at his funeral -- it wasn't big enough for Jeff. Not enough commemorating his life. Not enough life. He was bigger than that. Jason reminded me the "blow out" will be at Greenleaf.

I imagine it is about all of  us coming through to the other side. The side of life without Jeff. Jeff would have told the stories that would have made us all laugh. Stories full of humor, understanding, and wisdom.

As he told the nurse during one of his doctors visits after he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and had two years to live. when she said "You'd be fun to know." He answered "If you want to get to know me, you had better hurry."

Life without Jeff will be memory, remembrances, stories, laughter or quiet snickering as we remember a gesture, a smile, a tilt of the head, a story.

Laying to rest one with such a big heart.
Finally Jeff you can go to Greenleaf with just one suitcase.
How do you grieve for a beloved one?
How do you grieve for someone as bright and bold as Jeff?

How many metaphors are there? Which ones will bring comfort? Jeff has left the building. He's in a better place. His spirit is with us always. None of them work.

In the end just "Be like Jeff."