Last Call

Last call for campers for The San Juan Island Whale Watching Excursion: Monday, March 15 @ 09:01 AM PST I will be making reservations. The last call is if you are planning on camping only. Other type reservations can be made later, of course.

Saturday June 12 through Monday June 14: camp.
Tuesday June 15: return to Mukilteo.
Wednesday June 16: Mike and Kathy fly away...

Disclaimer from Roger: This will be a Kayaking Trip! It is stunning kayaking around the Haro Straight and whales are spotted about 25% of the time, but it is a Kayaking Trip. If you want more assurance of whale spotting go on a whale watching trip where they have a 95% chance of spotting whales -- but not near as much fun. This will be a Kayaking Trip!

The Kayaking Trip will be Monday June 14 and cost about $100.00 and is almost a day excursion starting with meeting at a central location, being bussed to the point of entry, paddling, naturalist talking about the land, water, cliffs, habitat, and other nature highlights, beach landing for lunch and I suppose potty breaks, with about 2 1/2 to 4 hours of actual paddle time depending on tides and such, then being bussed back to the starting point. Roger said it is really easy to get in the boat on the water, you just straddle in and set your butt down then swing your feet in, easier than from a dock. Last quote from Roger "You will not be disappointed."

This trip is gonna happen...

On another note, sad to say there was no sighting of the elusive rare Tal in the Pacific Northwest yesterday. He must have trucked on through.

Logistics, Tal, Book Review

I have eight confirmed whale watchers -- Kathy, Mike, Roger, Stephanie, Jerry, Jane, Jan and The Connorman.

I have two probables -- Jean and Brittany.

I have three maybes -- Julia, Nora and Christian.

I have one Hell No -- Andrew.

I have three confirmed and one maybe kayaker.

Roger will handle all kayaking logistics.

I'm working on the logistics of campsites, drive time, ferry travel and expense, tents and sleeping bags, pick up and delivery, Mukilteo bed and bath and wine consumption. All the important stuff.

Wait a minute, this whole trip is planned so Kathy can kayak with the whales for her fiftieth birthday so maybe that's the important part. I'll get back to you on that.

And speaking of colonoscopies: I think it is just the "geography" of the test that gives it such "bad press" because it wasn't all that bad. Mine turned out just dandy, the doctor said come back in ten years. And I didn't have to tell one single butt joke.

Tal is supposed to be in the Pacific Northwest today, maybe I'll get to see him. Today is Connorman playdate. Last night was book club, Olive Kitteridge wasn't all that beloved; some thought it was depressing, some thought Olive was tiresome because she didn't grow or change, some thought she fought hard for her own identity, one thought it was too much like an Anne Tyler book whom she doesn't like, we disagreed on Olive's level of awareness, sadness and lostness but agreed on her tenacity and the fact that her husband loved her, most thought Kathy Bates could play the part I voted for Ellen Burstyn, but everyone thought the style of the book, the writing and location was wonderful.

Until next logistics update, Tal report, or book review -- Ta.

The Anticipated Itinerary

Here's the plan. Let me rephrase that, here is the beginnings of a plan:

June 10: 2-ish, Mike and Kathy arrive Seattle.

Deliver Mike to the downtown Sheridan by 5 pm for him to join the photography group. I gotta really love you to do downtown at 5 pm.

June 13: 7-ish, pick Mike up at the downtown Sheridan Sunday evening.

June 14 and 15: travel to The San Juan's to squeeze in kayaking with the whales (hopefully they will cooperate). Roger said ocean kayaking has to be done with a guide because of tides and stuff. In other words, somebody who knows what they are doing.

June 16: afternoon-ish deliver Mike and Kathy to the airport for return flight.

The only thing for sure is the actual kayaking has to be on Monday or Tuesday while Mike is there. Do you want to go kayaking? Roger will make all the kayaking plans when he has a date and a number.

Still thinking, will talk later, will talk to Kathy, Roger and Jean.

Books, Whales, Family

First, Joe is going home wednesday. Since his move to Jim Thorpe Rehab last friday, he has had speech, physical and occupational therapy. His improvement has been dramatic. How much of his abilities he will regain is unknown, but we are all hopeful. He is eating, walking with assistance and talking with some cognitive impairment which is showing improvement each day. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, keep it up.

Hello to all from the Taylor House for Abandoned Parents, Grandparents and Siblings.

It's so lonely. Nobody but each other to talk to, talk about or just take life easy with. If Spring is not here it is just around the corner. Probably not more than 2 snow and 1 ice storm before we hit tornado season. All the storm chasers will be happy, the kids bicycle helmets get put in the inside closet for when the sky darkens and the air gets a green tinge to it and the storms dance around the house.

Life is good.

Yesterday Jane, Jean and I took a trip to Okarche to the Tower Cafe for lunch and one of the better Cinnamon Rolls anywhere.

Meeting Amber and Family for dinner tonight.

Life is good.

Friday Amber, Marc and families head to Greenleaf for spring break. Jane and I are going to see "Tuna Does Vegas" friday night and then to Greenleaf on saturday. Jean and Brittany will be there wednesday and Jeffery on thursday. Life is good.

Took the truck for some work and discovered the brakes needed worked on. I thought they had been rather spongy. Last fall I took the trailer in to have some work done and the brakes needed fixed. So this morning, for the first time in a long time, when I pulled the trailer I had brakes on the truck and the trailer. Jane only hit the windshield twice before I figured out how everything worked better with brakes all around.

Life is good.

Jan, when you get ready to make reservations for the whale watching call me for a CC number. Jane and I will be in the truck without the trailer. Maybe with cats. If any friends, relatives or countrymen know anything about traveling with cats, let me know. When a worthless, no good, lazy cat needs 2 insulin shots a day, it can slow you down, but.

Life is good.

Books

Mar -- Oliver Kitteridge

I think I reviewed this one earlier, but I'll go again. I liked the book, but thought it was rather depressing.
Apr -- The Blood of Flowers

I love history. So I will call this history. I enjoyed most of it just as a story. Enough history of 17th century Iran to keep me interested. Now I want to read Iranian history. She is not a literary genius (but would I know one if I saw one).
May -- Herzog

Jan, I owe you for this. When I saw Saul Bellows I thought no way. But then I remembered you told me he was critically acclaimed. So against my better judgement I started it. One hundred pages in we are having dinner with Amber and family and I said, I'm not wasting my time on this. It's going back to the library. But, how can you start a book and not finish. I read the last of it and was more confused. How did he get there. TWO hundred pages in I thought I'm going to kill her, this is junk. THREE HUNDRED pages in, I thought, he's writing this about us, you and me. That was a sobering thought. Either it is a good book, or our life is junk. Ponder that.

Life is good.

Jane and I are doing great. The kids are okay. The grandkids are outstanding.

Lov Ya All

LIFE IS GOOD.

My friend Carol, the one with the slightly diseased sense of humor, sent me this for my reading pleasure as I prepared for the dreaded "C" test.

If you've ever had a colonoscopy, you will get some belly laughs from this!!!
--------------------
This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For t hose unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garmen ts designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said.

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

ABOUT THE WRITER
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

And the best one of all.........

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Kathy finally gave me her itinerary but my mind is to preoccupied to publish it -- later and with love...

Good News Bad News

So I was singing the praises of a gentle winter and a spring like February then I open today's newspaper and there on the front page, in the middle of the front page, is this dire warning; Not enough Snow! Summer Drought! Animals and People will suffer! Crops will Fail! Jeez, and I thought a gentle winter was good news. Silly me.

Still zilch from Texas! Ms. Kathy Noland still hasn't sent me an itinerary of any kind.

The big bomb for Onlineshoes.com is the warehouse is moving to Ohio. All of the warehouse staff can move to Ohio or lose their job. The owner said it was just taking too long to get packages delivered to the East coast where 67 % of our customers live. The call center and several other departments will be moving to a new location since we won't be needing a Boeing sized building for seventy-five employees. I have no idea where, but you won't catch me complaining about a longer commute while I still have a job.

Lynn has invited me for my 2009 Birthday Dinner sometime in March at The Barking Frog, can't wait. This is one of those restaurants you usually only read about, but they are having some kind of March special that makes it Lynn and Jan friendly. This is definitely good news!

Good news: I came home and ate tomatoes and bacon sandwiches. Bad news: I have the dreaded colonoscopy test on Friday and can't have anything red tomorrow while I prepare for the test, so all of a sudden all I wanted was red food before I drink my gallon of laxative.

My your day be filled with goodish news.

Singing Frogs

How did springtime happen in February? The frogs woke and started singing, the birds are singing, the flowers are singing, there are frogs, birds and flowers everywhere. It was a February beyond belief; gorgeous, mild, gentle, just the right combination of sun, rain, fog and frogs -- and then the full moon to kiss February goodbye. And here we are.

In the midst of a glorious spring.

People, well some people, are jogging, walking, strolling, running and embracing the days. Me, I went to see Avatar with Ian on the big IMAX 3D screen. Now that was a pop culture experience I don't ever need to do again.

The Pop Culture Experience says more about me than the experience. It was fine, I'm just getting older and it's not as fun as it was ten, fifteen, twenty, years ago. Avatar belongs to a different generation, along with Harry Potter and Twilight. The Beatles and The Exorcist belong to my generation and I suppose John Travolta and Saturday Night Fever belongs to a different generation. To each generation his own pop experience is what I say. 3D has come a long way, remember those little saran wrap glasses from bygone ages.

I wouldn't have missed the experience for anything. The movie is getting mega reviews, but my style of intense drama would be The Hurt Locker. Quieter, more intense, more developed characters, but not nearly the bang for your buck that Avatar brings. It did have a lovely love story and then the action, LOTS OF ACTION. Action along the lines of video games, which I don't do either. Just too damn old.

Like my doctor said. OLD.

So far all those maintenance tests he requested are coming out healthy. How the heck did that happen? I don't want to live until I'm eighty-six years old. It's puzzling, like frogs waking up and singing in February.

I talked to Kathy for about sixty seconds on her birthday. She said she would email me her itinerary, but so far zilch from Texas. When I know I will let you know...