Thursday, October 31, 2013

Seminal Moments

After talking to Ray McLain of Texas at the reunion about how he felt I had touched his life, I began wondering about my own seminal moments. The moments in my life that touched, changed, or helped me on my path of evolution. Not the small stuff that has occupied me lately, but the BIG stuff.

Seminal moments. A kiss, a touch, a love, a conversation. Quoting Taylor Harris' blog; "That is a good thing to remember."

Then I had my last summer tomato.

Jeff posted what he took to the reunion on the family blog.

Taylor's blog.

Pictures of Judy and growing family on Facebook.

Things around me; flowers, creativity, intelligence, coffee, bed, Hawaii, photos of Hawaii, Olga Bay, photos of Olga Bay, sons, photos of sons, ferries, kindness, scented candles, scented soap, books.

Quote: "I began collecting snatches of songs, names, words. Some words I needed to look for, and some were always right next to me. " Film Silent Souls

Quote: " It ain't what you know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." Mark Twain

Shadows intrigue me. Shadows made by Sun or Moon or man made lights. Shadows cast on the wall, the walkway, the floor, the sky. Shadows downtown or in the country. Fleeting shadows that will never be seen again.

Looking at the winter moon through the bare branches of trees, all of those limbs, sticks, and twigs creating circles of design. The tree shadowed against the sky. Marveling at how all those straight lines created circles of unity. Surely man with all of his straight edges can also form circles of unity -- somehow.

How my friend Lynn's park walks have evolved. Starting with curiosity, curiosity turned into a quest which has evolved into something else again. Passion? What ever it is it is moments and beautiful.

Animals. Why am I surrounded by such a menagerie of animals? I have no particular animal passion. My turtles I understand, but why dragonflies and elephants, roosters and fish, loons and elk, bears and water buffaloes?

I had a customer profusely compliment me and thank me at the end of a call. "You are the nicest customer service agent I've ever had. I hope I get you the next time I call." I gave him my standard answer, " Awe, you are making me blush." As he was hanging up the phone I heard him say to someone in the room with him, "That was the nicest old lady. I could tell she was old by her voice."

Driving home from the airport in some of the most pervasive fog I have ever been in in Seattle, not the thickest fog, but dense and sticky, I felt caught between two worlds. I felt caught in some middle place, almost like some mystery, mystical world, but not quite because there loomed a McDonalds. I was not in Oklahoma and felt I hadn't arrived in Seattle yet.

My thoughts turned to being caught between two worlds. Not Okie not Pacific Northwester. Not a real world not an ethereal world. Not young not old. Not right not wrong. Not bad not good. Not intelligent not stupid. I think I was in some learning place, but maybe not.

We had over a week of dense fog, then the rain, now the wind. I discovered driving home from my Connorman playdate last night that leaves scurrying across the road and fluttering up and around made me jump. They all looked like opossoms.

I spent the evening with Connor and we played with his winnings from his Halloween party at school. PEZ candy and dispenser. Connor loved filling the dispenser up, he loved shooting the candy out, but didn't like eating it very well, so he kept feeding the dog -- and me. Good granny that I am, I had to eat four to every one of his.

He also liked showing me, in detail, how the dispenser worked. "No, granny, look here, see this little pusher? When you press down on the squishy head it turns and pushes out the candy. No, granny, that's not the pusher that's the thing to put your thumb on to open the squishy head. No, granny, you have to open it all the way to put the candy in. No, granny, I'll just do it."

Now I have had boys, more than one, and I have been around lots of kids eating their PEZ candy out of a PEZ candy dispenser, but not one of them, not a single one, ever, showed me how it worked in detail.

After I had eaten all the candy. After I was fully educated on the mechanics of a PEZ dispenser, Connor wanted to put a tattoo on me. He put one on my arm and I said let me put one on your head. NO, GRANNY, so I put one on his arm. He put one on my foot and I said let me put one on your head. NO, GRANNY, so I put one on his leg. This continued until both of my arms and feet were fully tattooed and finally he agreed to let me tattoo his head. Top level negotiations with a four year old is hard work.

I saw his obsessive/logical mind at work when he was designing sticker faces on the pumpkin card I mailed him. The card had several pumpkins in various shapes and Connor was busy putting on eyes, ears, noses and mouths. One ear he put more on the chin then the side of the head. His dad asked him about this, and Connor said, because there wasn't a proper equal distance for the second ear to be the exact, appropriate distance as the first, so he put it on the chin. Problem solved.

I know of many seminal moments I have had in my life. Moments that have inspired, directed, helped, educated. Are these the events that count?

Naw, it's the small stuff.

Finally Taylor's complete quote: " Life is funny. It tries to remind how good it is and I try to forget. Sometimes that is a good thing to remember."


Sunday, October 27, 2013

All Jeff Packed:

Hi Jan
All I packed is

1 14" dutch over
1 15" skillet
1 12" skillet all castlron
2 dutch oven lid handles
2 bags of charcoal
1 shovel
1 ax
1 hatchet
1 grill
3 hotdog roasters
1 pair of campfire gloves
1 snack box (full)
1 overflow snack box (almost full)
1 food box (full)
3 ice chest ( 2 food 1 beer)
1 camp box consisting of :
4 person cook set
3 coffee pots 1 perk 1 pour-through 1 press
4 person silverware
2 knifes
2 large spoons
2 pancake turners
2 camp stoves
2 fuel types
5 coffee cups
2 bowls
2 hotdog roasters
matches
toothpicks
trash bags
zip lock gags
2 large cups
1 camp first aid kit

2 cots
2 pads
4 sleeping bags
4 chairs ( brought back 7)
1 chair pad
1 table
1 BIG dinning canopy
2 tarps
1 box of stakes
1 box of rope
2 hiking poles
2 canteens
1 hiking first aid kit

Michael's backpack:
3 pants
3 shorts
5 shirts
5 socks
5 pair of und well you know
2 jackets
2 hats
1 pair of gloves

Jeffery's backpack:
6 pants
3 shorts
10 shirts
10 pairs of socks
10 und well you know
3 hats
2 pairs of gloves
1 large sweatshirt
1 jacket
3 long sleeve shirts
1 self inflating pad
1 thermal pad
1 backpacking tent
1 candle lantern
1 pocket tool
1 large knife
1 mess kit
1 backpacking first aid kit

Toiletry bag:
well you know that list
+ drugs

2 kindles
2 smart phones
1 flip phone
1 pair of walkie talkies
2 bicycles
2 bicycles helmets
1 pair of bicycle shorts
1 bicycle tool kit
1 bicycle first aid kit
3 pair of glasses
1 Michael
and 1 happy very happy Jeffery
and that is all I brought

Friday, October 25, 2013

What a Time, What a Time

Reunion has come and gone. The skies filled with rain and fog and sunshine. Dogs barked, kids played, coffee drunk, fires burned, fish fried.

It was a sickly bunch; surgery, limping, arthritis, COPD, water on the hip, bad hips, recuperating post surgeries, crutches, canes, walking sticks for balance, and Jancie wasn't even there with her fractured back. The old folks had their "organ recital" once or twice a day. Amber isn't old, but she won anyway coming to reunion without a navel and able to brag about her 320 staples from her surgery.

The breadth of conversation was staggering even for us Taylor's. I'm afraid we ran away with "fecal transplant" well, Jeff ran away with that one. I don't think there could be another witticism that includes "fecal" humor because Jeff thought of them all. Amber said it is a very effective procedure but not something the hospital brags about on their marquee.

The conversation included talk about the fact that Taylor just thought ballet class was, well, challenging, but now he is taking a silks class, aerial work for his theatre arts degree. Taylor, and all 250 plus pounds gracefully dangling from silks. I'm afraid Jeff ran away with that one also.

We talked about the definition of harbinger, cabin decisions, to tent or to cabin and the blessings of both. Summer volunteered for fire duties next year. She has been an excellent camp fire host in the past so I know what a good job she will do, even with a two year old.

We all learned something new every day. A wooden spoon laying across a boiling pot will keep it from boiling over. The new texting shorthand is amazingly similar to Morse Code, SOS and LOL with many other likenesses.

Jean didn't bring cookies, she bought her Kurig instead and plenty was drunk during the rainy morning coffees on her porch during the gathering of the sibling-nation with sundry other spouses, progeny, cousins, neighbors.

Two-fires failed, three boyfriends succeeded, as did the emergency bacon fest. A bacon fest at 11 AM on Fridays is now cast in stone.

Nora kept mixing and matching fruity concoctions with the contents of the adult Goodie Box, she did a fantastic job taking over the responsibilities of the adult goodie box. Wait a minute, I actually think boyfriend #2 did the work on that, Nora just general managed it.

Boyfriend #2 presented a bit of a conundrum because his name is Chris also. No satisfactory nickname burbled to the surface during the course of the reunion. MChris didn't seem to work, nor did Millerman, New Chris almost stuck but not quite. Well, we will see next year. Chris Miller did bring a well used Dutch oven and made several delicious delicacies. I don't know about Nora but we will keep him. He's cute and he cooks.

I finally was able to bring home some of Marc's salsa. I'm rationing it out of my refrigerator as we speak. Two Dutch ovens were fired up more that once: Jeff made his world famous Tub O'Stuff and I didn't get a single bite. New Chris made a Bacon Bourbon Maple Apple cobble of some kind that I did get a taste of, as did I help myself generously to his 8 hour chili. His 8 hour chili that he rushed and cooked in 7 hours. Damp wood I think was the culprit causing the late start.

I forgot to get New Chris' shoe size, but he was born and raised in Tulsa, likes to travel, lives in downtown Tulsa, and can't explain his job, a Profitability something Analyst. Jake wears cowboy boots, works all night, and doesn't like Miley Cyrus. Kenny came late and left early but he enjoys winning and dinning Cathy. Nuff said.

Jane passed off gravy duties to Amber. Original Chris made Irish Stew with Guinness Beer. Jean made chicken and noodles that I didn't get a bite of either. There were stir fries, fish fries, and cookie salad.

Grandberry Garland Boyd the Third, or Tripp as he is affectionately called, was properly cuddled by all the women with free hands. What a delightful baby. I was asking Avery and Maddie about the wee babe; Does he cry? Yes. Does he wet his diaper? Yes. Well Maddie became exasperated with my mundane questions and finally declared, "HE IS A REAL BABY."

Favorite quote of the week was Jeff's, of course; "A baby is the world's most perfect product produced by semi-skilled labor."

It was a reunion of moments -- a history of moments -- a life time of moments. It's not the big stuff it's the small stuff. Night walks, scavenger hunts, bike riding, trail walking, porch setting. Children growing, pumpkin carving, Michael learning the difference between Aunt and Uncle. I'm not his favorite Uncle Jan anymore. To quote Jeff, again, Greenleaf isn't the most beautiful, or desirable, or fantastic, but it is where our memories are. It's where we had our moments.

"Every moment and every event in a man's life on earth plants something in his soul, the germ of spiritual vitality." Thomas Merton.

Yes, reunion is over. I've unpacked, paid bills, done laundry, bought groceries, napped, yes reunion is over until next year.

Hey Jeff, I took a suitcase. What did you bring?


Ian came back from his road trip with a package of the best coffee I have every had. The vendor for the amber he buys had a Russian feast and this coffee was part of it. I asked Ian if it was Russian coffee and he said he thought it was German. Well a quick Google search identified it as Bavarian Coffee from Dallmayr. Amazon sells it, now try it, you will not be sorry.

Love to one and all and Happy Birthday to Julia.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

It's a Family Thing

Curled up, pulled in like the turtle I am, feeling different, odd, outsider, strange. Sometimes I yield and curl up with those outsider feelings -- and -- sometimes I push back the dark closing in. Sometimes I push back with hope, gratefulness and family.

It's a family thing.

Reaching out on the cusp of reunion, one whole week of meals, babies, grandparents, gratefulness, letting love shine. You shine.

Place, memory, thought.

We grew up together, sitting at the same table, playing with the same toys, sitting in the same church. Big momma, big meals, big work. Acres of gardens. 140 acres of canyons, rose rock beds, sandstone ledges, vines, scrubbing floors, hideouts, horned toads, fireworks, bonfires, Halloween, cemetery, blackberries, bar ditches, crawdads, crab apples, peaches, cherries, Mom's pickled peaches, Mom's bread and butter pickles, gathering eggs, milking cows, cow tanks, dirt road, neighbors, dogs. No bears, moose or antelope. Being poor.

Houses going by. At least once a year we had a house being pulled down the road, sometimes three stories tall. Where from and where too I hadn't a clue, but climbing up into the cedar tree to watch the crew move over-head wires and cables as the house slowly trudged on its way was entertainment.

Walking the mile and a quarter to school. Walking home.
Heat, dust, snakes. Cold, snow, wild winter dogs.

Rock house, well house, hen house, barn, shop, rabbit hutch, I barely remember the outhouse, stanchions, feed, fences, fires, baling wire, saw grinding away at something.

It's a family thing: quilting, books, road trips and maps.
It's a family thing: food, fellowship.
It's a family thing: loving, accepting, not fighting.

Sibling-nation: One mother, one father, one place. A common web of experience -- turtle, horse, goat, bull we came from one place and belong to one another. A collective memory shaded our own. Rooted to the same ground and each other.

No kingdom, just a family, youngest, oldest, smartest, funniest, weirdest, richest. Comfortably conversant with each other whether teasing and mocking or laughing and crying.

It's a family thing. Strength in sibling-nation.

Remember dad's thick lumpy cream in his coffee.
Remember getting to spend a quarter at the dime store or the Good Will store.

Ian and I had lunch at the local Chinese restaurant and both of us had fortune cookies mentioning family. Of course now I can't remember the wee quotes, the ones I swore I would add to the blog.

Wasn't it Cathy who put on Facebook "I don't have alzheimers, I have sometimers. Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't."

Jeff sent me a "congratulation" card on the arrival of my new car. Only Jeff. Only family.

Brittany and Jerry rolled into a new year.

Connor will stay cuddled up if I bring a movie to watch. Epic kept him entranced and on my lap for two hours, bless those little pixels of action.

I wanted a Son's Dinner and Stephanie volunteered to host. OMG she is a good. A pumpkin sauce penne -- fantastic, oven roasted fall vegetables -- fantastic, even Christian ate those, plus salad, wine, bread, sushi. Bo found, bought and brought okra chips. I think because she knew I loved okra. Has anyone else had these? I'm so bringing some to reunion. Christian said even dried and crispy they still felt slimy in his mouth. Only Christian. Roger didn't even limp after his 50K. Everyone was there including the two grand dogs.

The dark is gone and all continues to shine.

It's continues to be a family thing.

I wonder what Jeff will bring to reunion.