My Old Mantra, My New Vow

There will come soft rains and
  the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with
  their shimmering sound,
And frogs in the pools singing
  at night,
And wild plum trees in
  tremulous white,
Robins will wear their feathery
  fire,
Whistling their whims on a
  low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.
Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree,
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she
  woke at dawn
Would scarcely know that
  we were gone.

Ray Bradbury, The Marian Chronicles

All is right with the world, that's my mantra.

All is right with the world whether living or dying and with all its prayers, plagues and politics. Whether creation or evolution. Whether Muslim or Jewish. Whether for Ben Afflect or against, whether you smoke weed or don't, whether you like green or red peppers, spicy food or not, pumpkin lattes or beer.

We are in the midst of it, whatever it is. We are all bound up in this living world rolling along on its hobbled axis with its melting glaciers and its car pool lanes. We aren't in a position to love it or leave it. We can't make it back to where we came from.

All is right with the world. It is pumping oxygen and water for now. It grows, blooms, dies like it should. It procreates like it should. It makes music and skyscrapers in just about equal measure. Clouds roil by, storms rage in, a stillness can descend with grace.

All is right with the world during its eons to becoming now. All is right with the world whether I agree or not or like it or not. My agreement has nothing to do with its rightness.
"We cannot weigh, measure or judge."


A friend made a vow to accept every chance to eat with a friend. I liked that a lot. It seems so ancient and biblical. The concept of sharing, of breaking bread together. It feels like something our caveman ancestors would have done also. Yes, I like that vow a lot.

Connor is back in dancing, hip-hop this time. Roger said he liked dancing better than baseball.

Ian's job today included art directing his first photo shoot. I always get more excited than him over these little milestones.

I had my heater on going to Target at about 1:30 pm and my air conditioner on coming home. I swear I wasn't there that long. Now, I have used my heater going to work at 4 am and air conditioner coming home at 4 pm, but an hour later? That was a surprise.

Yep, all is right with the world -- my mantra as I triangulate my life between the kitchen, the couch and the night life with a little social media thrown in.

I miss looking words up in a dictionary. Looking them up online just isn't the same. One word doesn't lead to seventeen. It isn't the adventure it used to be. I miss looking words up in a dictionary as I ponder the difference between vow and oath -- but I use the Internet.

All is right with the world, my world included.

Feeling Alive

Sometimes negativity reigns. I know people who feel alive only when they are complaining. Traffic is either too fast or too slow, the food is either too hot or too cold, work is either too busy or too boring, friends are either in-their-face or ignoring them. Nothing is ever just right. It's a hard way to live.

Speaking of a hard way to live, in one day downtown, besides the homeless, the busy, the pert, the fast, the ambling, and all the Starbuck's customers, I saw a woman with a walker, a blind person, and a lady in a breath activated wheel chair . There are several paths to a hard-way-to-live. Some chosen, some not.

"In the middle of the journey of life, I was in a dark wood because I had lost the true path, and so we came forth and once again beheld stars." Quote from the Irish movie Parked.

Being alive: Wandering into old age is a little like lost-in-the-dark-wood. At breakfast the other morning Claire said she heard a Linda Ronstadt interview and Linda mentioned belonging to the "senior class," yep that's us. And Mary had read about children with disabilities whose parents called them diff-abilities. Different not disconnected.

Jane and Amber just had surgery, Julia had a MRI to try to determine the root of her hip pain. Jean, Art and Jerry have already had joint replacement, and Tal and Janice have had their medical woes. Holy Moly my turn is coming. I can hear the drum beat getting louder. Any news on Josephine? How are you feeling Jeff? We seem to be collecting diff-abilities.

Hey Jeff what are you bringing to Greenleaf? Suitcase, chairs, the goodie box, hot dog skewers, Vienna Sausages, booze, the cast iron Dutch oven, an axe and the charcoal fire starter. What about t-shirts, are you going to bring those?

Nora has offered me a ride to Greenleaf and I suppose she will take me back also. Do I have a bed? Instead of alms for the poor. Bed anyone bed?

Do you know how many people don't believe a opossum can total a car?

Roger had prepared Connor for my new and different car so he was unaffected by the change, with one exception. He spied the crank windows and said, "What's this?" Then proceeded to crank about seventeen times. Oh, two exceptions, he cried when he couldn't push a key fob to open the doors. Yes, I let him use the key. He might have bent the key, but, oh well.

I got a big fat DUH from Connor when I didn't know about the Bigfeet characters and the dinosaur catching truck.
"Where did you get this?"
"DUH! Santa." Oh grannies.
I earned his respect back when I built a Lego-fireman-exercising-Santa with flames and an axe.

Feeling alive.

I get to go to a new TV show watch party on Wednesday Sept 25th @ 8:30, Back in the Game. My friend Sandy's, of Dragon Boat rowing fame, brother is the producer, and the director of the first episode. This should be fun. And I think I will have enough home grown ripe tomatoes to make a salad to go with the pizza and soda provided by our hostess.

"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while -- he knows something."

Feeling alive feels good.

Contemplating Good Stuff. Good Times, Gratefulness

Eating, napping, contemplating the future. Gratefulness for joy, Connor, pictures of Connor, knowing Stephanie and Bo are a part of my life, new bambinos coming into the world, cell phones.

Gratefulness is such a deep deep emotion. I think it sources deeper than love. Love oozes and spills out of us like wildflowers. Those we love so deeply, gratefulness is a huge portion of that. I love and am grateful for my family. I love and am grateful for life.

Love goes out from us whereas gratefulness has to be received. Gifts come so undeserved. We can earn love, respect, companionship. Gratefulness is the by product of something we are not in control of. It's born outside of ourselves like supernovas or apples, fishing rods or ocean waves.

Somehow this issue of being in control of so much of our life and not being in control when an event occurs that makes us grateful humbles us. To be grateful exposes our weaknesses and strengthens us.

Gratefulness connects us to humanity.

Opossum = 1 -- Jan = 0

Hit a opossum on I-405 at 65 miles an hour and pay the price.

Blessings:
Ian has Triple A roadside service for me.
Stalled on the big ole scary I-5 bridge going into downtown Seattle.
No one killed me or pushed me off the bridge.
I asked the two tuck driver where was the scariest place he ever picked up a car. Here, he said.
From his sweet bed in Kenmore to me took the tow truck driver less than 30 minutes.
Big new shiny tow truck.
Brave driver hooking me up off that narrow shoulder with cars whizzing past at supersonic speeds. It was Labor Day so traffic was lite, relatively.
Insurance.
Only 1 hour late for work.
Christian is a mechanic.
Ian volunteered to pick me up and met me Walt's at 5 AM, with Starbucks.
Drove me to work.
Car totaled.

I was crying so hard I hit an animal I never realized my bumper, grill, and radiator were gone until I sputter to a stop amid all the smoke and flashing dashboard lights.

Opossum = 1 -- Jan = 0
That opossum got to go to opossum heaven
Jan got the mess

Anybody have a good used car they want to sell?