A Lesson In How To Do Nothing

Or seven ways to kill time:

Reading: Here is a tidbit from the Pew Research Center. The typical adult reads 5 books a year, hum, not a typical Taylor. This number is a median not an average, half read more and half read less. Twelve books is the average, hum, not a Taylor. A relative small number of avid readers skews the average. This includes printed books, ebooks, and audio books for those who drive and listen. Seventy percent of adults read at least one book in the last year. ONE BOOK, I'm in a reading desert and read at least twenty. Women are more likely than men to have read A book during the last year. A book! There were no significant differences by age group for overall reading rates. Lousy research.

Messing about with a Nook: I successfully requested, received, downloaded and have on my Nook my first official book club book, The Boys in the Boat. That was fun. Last months selection was not available as an ebook from my library. This months selection didn't need to be requested, received and downloaded, it only needed downloaded. That was fun.

Thinking: Thinking about how bad your hearing has become and how much longer you will be able to do your job with bad hearing. I told my boss she either needed to fire me - she declined, put me in a separate room - she declined, let me work nights where it is quieter - she declined, put me at the most isolated station - she agreed, get me a better headset - she agreed, get me ear mufflers to muffle out extraneous noise - she agreed. So far so good.

I used the word "balmy" in a sentence the other day and the young guy I was speaking with had no idea what it meant. Now that is something to think about. Then I came home and there it was in the weather report.

Weather; Sometimes I marvel at how variable our weather can be in Western Washington. Thanks to all of our intricate terrain we can have any number of things going on at the same time. It's one of attributes that makes this area so special, but it's also challenging when it comes to forecasting things like snow as we are enjoying the relative balmy 50 degrees and sunshine while it lasts. 

Related to weather via Robert Redford talking about his movie All is Lost, "Nature is dominant, always." Yep, I think I agree with that.

Dining: I'm meeting Christian and Bo Sunday at Sahm Gook Jih Palace for black bean pasta and black bean sauce. I'll get back to you on that one. They assure me I will enjoy the experience.

I have never been hungry nor had a family member go to war. Dad and brothers never had to shoot anyone.

I think we need to organize some kind of commemorative bench or something in honor of Mom at the new improved Greenleaf State Park. A picnic table, a tire swing, a flagpole, a handicap parking spot, anything. I wonder if they will let you erect a personalized wee memento on public grounds. Mom would like that I think.

Traveling: I'm not dusting, cooking, watching a movie, shopping or doing anything else this weekend, my weekend, I'm traveling. Lynn and I are starting our mini-land cruise tomorrow. Two days of driving aimlessly. Aimlessness is a terrific way to do nothing. I highly recommend it.

I love being "old enough" to know better. "Smart enough" not to do it anyway. "Content enough" that I have no need to do it. What ever "it" maybe.

The flip side of being "old enough" is I notice more people dying now a days, even with all the new babies in my world right now, death still seems dominant. I think it is just a by-product of ageing, after all according to Robert Redford nature is dominant.

And the flip side of that, if there can be three flip sides, is some days are just perfect. Days of sons, grandson, sun, dinners, jaunts, travel, reading, thinking, hearing the birds chirp, or in the case of the Pacific Northwest the gulls squawk, hearing the children at play on the field below, hearing the sound of the trains rumbling by in the distance, the ferries fog horn blasting its warning, hearing a friends greeting.

Today will be perfect. Mountains, trees, Possession Sound out the west window, the sun is expected to make an appearance, breakfast with Claire, play date with Connor, movie and popcorn. My vanilla making experiment with the vanilla beans Verla so kindly mailed me will be put off till later although Ian has already purchased the bottom-shelve vodka.

Here's to doing nothing but simply messing about. Like Water Rat from Wind in the Willows, simply messing about with boats, minus the boats. Hey here we are right back to reading.

Make your's an aimless day, or at least a partially aimless day.

Cruising Through Life

Cruising on my way to have breakfast with my friend Claire I saw this personalized license plate: WHLFAN. Yep, made me think of the Alaskan cruise also.

Friendship? What would we do without it? Good friend that she is Claire brought me three books knowing I have been in a reading desert lately. Maybe something to kickstart or inspire my reading. During our breakfast chat she mentioned she had spent an evening "desperate for something to read". I thought I can't remember the last time I was "desperate for something to read" but I remember the feeling when I was so desperate I would read a cereal box, or diapering instructions from a Pampers box. I remember being desperate for a particular kind of book, like the time I was at a friend's house and said I needed a good romance with a lot of throbbing penis' in it. Books are friends.

Lynn is a friend to me: Lynn and I are going on a land cruise soon, to the ocean. We haven't had a good long friendly meandering drive in ages -- ages. I'm so looking forward to a semi-destination land-cruise with my friend Lynn.

The power of friendship is staggering. My book club friends are staggering; smarter than me, cuter than me, nicer than me, more creative, more scholarly, more adventurous. Educated and friendly. Willing to listen, to appreciate my Connor stories. Most of us work customer service so we trade a lot of customer stories back and forth. Laugh, relax, enjoy, share food, or anxiety, or sorrow. That seems a lot to ask of a person, but friends carry the burden with ease. I remember at Maxine's wake the old Indian gentlemen imploring Adam and Josephine to share their grief because it was too heavy for them to carry alone -- and reminding them that they didn't have to.

Siblings also make fantastic friends. Friends you can share with, laugh with, relax with, go cruising with. I'm thinking of Jerry and Jane's long time friends Ron and Sheila. Jean and Joyce. Friends of 50 years or new friends, friends enrich one's cruising though life. Did everyone see the Facebook post about the two ladies who have been friends for 94 years. I don't think I will ever beat that, but I can try. Music can be a friend. Cousins make good friends.

Verla and I are building up that cousin/friendship again. Facebook, and her traveling to the Greenleaf reunion, has rekindled that old affection still alive even if somewhat buried. Verla is amazing at how she works to keep connected. To people, I think, but especially family/cousins. We have shared some wonderful times, but don't tell her I can't quilt a lick. I made one quilt once for my firstborn son and quit. Somethings Jan just wasn't meant to do.

Look at Kathy and I, somehow, 25 years ago we discovered each other. Friendship is a blessing we don't necessarily deserve but receive anyway. About the time this wonderful blessing was coming into my life Sharon Strickland drifted out. Sharon and I had been friends since high school. She always made me laugh. Sharon quotes are famous. We were friends until her son and husband threatened to kill me in the same day, and she wondered why our friendship dissolved. I guess like everything else sometimes friendship dies.

Emily Dickensen:
My friend must be a bird,
because it flies.
Mortal my friend must be,
because it dies.
Barbs has it like a bee.
Ah, curious friend
thou puzzlest me.

Helen Keller:
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Albert Schweitzer:
In everybody's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flames by on encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for the people who rekindle the inner spirit.

William Butler Yeats:
Think where man's glory most begin and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends.

I am sure there are some modern poets who have written on friendship, but I didn't Google them, you will have to do that yourself.

I guess I have been maudlin long enough. Now, on to other stuff:

Ian is gone a traveling. His friends are absolutely singular in their loveliness. They are kind, trendy, healthy, funny, busy, and always include me in their kindness. Son's make good friends. Wait, I think I'm drifting back to maudlin.

I had Russian Dumplings for the first time. I WANT MORE. Everyone should have a Russian Dumpling before they die. There are Russian eateries around downtown, and I have even eaten at Pike Place Market, I always bought Piroshki. I have a recipe! I have even made them for heaven's sake, so why oh why have I never had a Russian Dumpling? Cruising to Alaska with it's Russian influence I will keep my eye out.

Christian's new boss, the one he calls "baby boss," yes to his face, is from Alaska and says even though there is a lot of Russian influence he doesn't think I will find much Russian food. Lord, I hope he is wrong. Another of Christian's colleagues did a quick Google search and found me a place in Fremont. Soon, Soon.

I gave blood, per usual, for my Sons Dinner Sunday. Chopping vegetables and meat for the Portuguese Soup made me bleed. I can't cut mashed potatoes without cutting myself.  Connor didn't get his way all evening, Granny didn't say no, but Christian spoke firmly -- twice. Connor was a wee bit wired. Caught between two grannies. At granny one's house and going to granny two's house next. Yep, a wee bit wired. He didn't eat the soup or the Hawaiian cornbread, but he did enjoy the fruit. Especially when granny let him squeeze the orange slices into a cup to make orange juice. Granny didn't care if it was messy. He told me it wasn't very good, but drank it anyway. A lack of sugar, I imagine.

The last week or so the mountains passes have gained 7 feet of snow. I'm glad I'm a low lander. How is winter in your area? Did Jerry, Jane and Jean have any trouble traveling to California? And back? And what's this on FB about Jean being sick? Brittany?

My monthly to-do list never changes: haircut, pedicure, pay bills, maintain car. My weekly to-do list never changes: grocery, library, cook, meet a friend, blog, Connor, gas up, re-cycle, movie, book, and now-a-days Facebook, but every week I dutifully make a list. Just so you know, I also, very dutifully, include "dust." Silly, huh?

For those interest in books as friends, cruise through book clubs new reading list:
March: Author Alice Munro- Reader's Choice. She recently won the Noble Prize
April: Author Jill LePore - Book of Ages: The Life and Opinions of Jane Franklin. 
May: Author Marisa Silver - Mary coin

My recent movies have been pretty mundane. All is Lost didn't engage me as a story, but I was fascinated by the experimental element. One actor, no dialogue, lots of ocean. Stephanie asked me if he dies at the end, but I didn't tell her, and I won't tell you.

Speaking of cruising, at Sons Dinner everyone was talking non-stop about the pros and cons of cruising, everyone but Bo that is. I finally told them all to hush and let Bo speak, after all she is the only one who has actually been on a cruise. She assured me I would love it.

Christian's baby boss, the one from Alaska, Dutch Harbor actually, said I would love it: especially all the hikes, walks, trails. I said, "Yeah, like that's not going to happen." He amended it immediately to especially all the beauty, all the wildlife. Now, you are talking my kind of cruise.

If anyone is up for cruising you are invited for Jean's 75th Birthday cruise. Verla? Kathy? Lynn? I hear Amber might go. I also heard Julia and Tal aren't. Bah-humbug, sometimes life interferes. The only thing that would make this fantastical event better would be for you to join, old friend, new friend, cousin, sibling, son, book club friend.

The power of friendship in all its forms.

Christian and Bo brought me fresh okra from the Korean market, who would have thought it, so I'm making Creole Okra today. And life keeps cruising on.

Love

I have always loved the quote: We love things and use people, when we need to love people and use things.

I still love that quote, but I have to say I love lots and lots and lots of...

Things: horse skull, turtle earrings, cashmere neck scarf, movies, mattresses, enamel pans, ferries.

Food: biscuits and gravy, JEAN'S biscuits and JANE'S gravy not Patty's EggNest, brown beans and cornbread, fried chicken, watermelon, brown sugar cookies, candy, icing, pineapple.

Movies: Too many to name.

People: siblings, sons, daughter-in-law, Bo, grandson, cousins, especially grandson, colleagues, friends, especially, especially grandson, other assorted in-laws, nieces, nephews, their bo's and girlfriends, my son's friends, book club ladies, occasionally someones dog or cat, and especially grandson.

Places: Oklahoma, red dirt roads, red rocks, rose rocks, red barns, Hawaii, Pacific Northwest, Neah Bay, Mt Rainier, Olga Bay, The Grand Canyon, lava flows, any ocean I have ever seen, islands, desert, mountains, homes built into the hillside, wheat fields, the moon. Lots of red dirt in that list, it must be genetic.

Ideas: liberty, liberalness, rebelliousness, spirituality, things with few rules.

Activities: dance, drives, dinners, chats, laughter, coffee drinking, movie watching, book reading, playdates, reunions in Oklahoma, California, Washington or on a cruise ship.

Dreams: cruising, going to the moon, being debt free.

Luxuries: hot shower, flush toilet, running water, electricity, gasoline, coffee pot, microwave, computer.

Job: keeps the rain off my head and my feet shod.

I love seeing my son's grown, having known the Carrillo's, driving cars fast, putting Jane in the floorboard, people thriving, living life, smiling, communicating, having babies, infinity, the immensity of the universe and how wonderfully small I am in it.

Happy Valentines Day to each heartbeat out there, from 1 day old Leonora to the two old ladies on Facebook who have been friends for 94 years.

A heartbeat doesn't have to be important, directed, disciplined, successful, elected, or selected, it just has to live. One life at a time, one year at a time, one day at a time, one heartbeat at a time, because this too shall pass.

The Bigger Event

One last word about the Superbowl and why over 700,000 people came out to cheer on the streets of Seattle in 20 degree weather. I'm searching for the bigger picture. The bigger event. Where does the vortex that sucked me in come from? It was palpable.

Ian's friend Nila took a two hour lunch so she could go to the roof of her downtown building and watch, with permission of course. There were so many people trying to get on the Sounder trains that they finally quit collecting tickets, "just get on." They ran extra trains, extra ferries, extra buses. I was driving South on 99 HWY to meet Claire for breakfast and the traffic was intense at 8:30 in the morning, cars packed with people and flags a flying, laughing, cheering, honking their horns, going to the big event.

Colleagues had trouble getting to work, I-5 was backed up with flags a flying and people laughing, cheering, honking their horns going to the big event. Colleagues also had trouble going home due to the massive amount of people. My friend Jo-Anne and another colleague finally gave up trying to get on a bus after several hours and went to a movie until things died down a little.

Those are some particulars, but what about the bigger? I'm puzzled, intrigued, searching my finite brain for a universal answer, again one that would include me, as to "what just happened?"

My friend Mary gave me a few insights, smart woman Mary. One metaphor was likening it to caveman hunters coming home from a successful hunt with a mastodon that would feed the cave for the winter. Pure celebration of success that the whole cave could participate in.

Another idea she floated was being swept up in the unknown factor of just who would win, like gambling or solitaire or Dragon Boat Racing. A participation without blame. If the team wins you share the victory, if the team looses it isn't your fault. This was a victory shared, and shared, and shared.

I always thought sports were akin to war, a battlefield, I have discovered they aren't. It is something else. A few men on a field moving a ball around created this explosion of celebration. Somethings are just beyond my ken. 

As is Connor. He has entered the jabbering stage, I pick him up and he talks non-stop. We are driving along, him carrying on a conversation with who knows who and I hear him say something about Ninjas secret powers. I say, I didn't know Ninja's have secret powers. "Granny it is a secret, my mom doesn't tell you everything." Okaaaay. So when he mentioned "eye-ball holders" in the back seat, I kept my mouth shut. 

We are going to make a stuffed animal, Connor and I, so to make sure I did it right he drew a diagram with instructions, with part A attaching to part B, with arrows and lines and a few flourishes to boot connecting this to that. Anyone remember the words from Alice's Restaurant? The boy can't write a word but he communicated clearly what I was and was not to do. 

I'm thinking of cruises and siblings. I love siblings. It looks like several of us will be cruising to Alaska with Jean. Lynn posted a photograph on Facebook of the Mendenhall Glacier just to remind me of the pleasures that await. I poked around on the Princess Cruise Lines website to view The Golden Princess. All I can say is WOW I'm going to need help. A lot of help. Lucky for me I will have some experienced cruisers cruising along beside me. I love siblings. They are so comforting. Right Mary? 

I see all the things I don't want to do, but I am assured there will be plenty of what I do want to do.

Shirley Temple died, now there was an icon. Sad to say icons come and icons go, as will I when God decides to punch my lights out. Hopefully after my cruise.

Now a wee word about retirement from Ray McLain: for all you retired siblings. 

How many days in a week?

6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

When is a retiree's bedtime?

Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

What is the biggest gripe of retirees?

There is not enough time to get everything done.

Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?

Tied shoes.

How many retirees to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it might take all day.

Just before the funeral services the undertaker came up to the very elderly woman and asked,

How old was your husband? 

98, she replied, two years older than me.

So you're 96?

She responded, Hardly worth going home is it?

Book club tonight, sons dinner Sunday, and the beat goes on.

Love to all my retired siblings ~ and everyone else. Especially Amber, she sent me the sweetest email about the blog. I love Amber, she will retire soon, probably before me.

Context

I can't believe I watched the Super Bowl, well part of it. I had come home from work and was going to watch a weird German film but just couldn't concentrate, so I sent a "lift off" text to all the family. At the time I didn't know the Seahawks had already scored. Later Ian called and said he was with colleagues watching the game at a little Irish pub in Tuscon Arizona that was flying Seahawks flags, he knew it was appropriate.

On the drive home Seahawks flags were flying every where. Twelfth man symbols were every where from lights shining in 20 story buildings to the local fruit stand. Cars, Starbucks, Boeing, McDonalds, the tiny nail shop, even Onlineshoes.com was in on the action. Remember I don't have a TV wired to the world, but people were so obsessed, so worked up by anticipation, excitement, fear, joy, fun, fellowship that finally I couldn't stand it anymore and found the game on Fox Internet. If Ian could do it so could I. Have you ever seen a goose watch a football game? Well, that image will give you an idea of me watching the Super Bowl all by myself. Context.

I have never watched a football game in my life and all I understood was the smiles, the score, and the sadness of Peyton Manning. I made the mistake of mentioning on Monday morning I felt sorry for the man and was almost stoned. I didn't make that mistake twice. Christian explained to me, in detail, how I didn't need to feel sorry for him, he has earned and deserves his place in football history. Now I know.

Today is the victory parade, 50% of the people I know are taking off work. Look for Stephanie and Connor they will be amid all the tears, laughter, raucousness, cheers, smiles and people who called in sick to work. Ian has to go to work at the downtown Seattle Market, he is worried about travel time and parking.

My two favorite Super Bowl stories: I love stories.

When Stephanie realized the game would be between The Seahawks and The Broncos she proposed a "family" wager to her myriad Colorado cousins. One of her cousins responded that she was up for the wager but didn't know how good of a job she would do raising Connor.

My friend James from work was a little late getting to his brothers house for a watch party. He is standing outside ringing the doorbell listening to this amazing amount of cheering and laughter coming from his large Filipino family inside. He is frantically ringing the bell, let me in, let me in. What is going on? Let me in. No one could hear him because The Seahawks had scored.

Context. In some of the Facebook jabber someone was very accusing of Johnny-come-lately fans. That was me, a fan for one game, but I loved the journey, the fun, the excitement, the anticipation. Whew, I hope I don't ever have to do that again.

Context: Think about bird poop. How many times has a bird flown over and didn't poop on your head?

Context is interesting. What we would call a mediocre dinner might feed a family of four for a week in some parts of the world. I saw a clip from the movie Babies and there was a goat drinking out of the baby's bath, hum that might not be so good in downtown New York, but it works for the Mongolian Steppes. Natural in one context, nasty in another. Or how would you react if you saw a woman riding behind a man holding an infant on a motorcycle and no one in helmets? Not good. Yet we see photographs of this image almost daily in India or China. Context.

Remember that children's book What Good Luck, What Bad Luck, well this was a conversation I had with a woman the other day:

Her; I'm going to have a short work week.
Me: That's great.
Her: Well, my son is having surgery.
Me: Sorry.
Her: No, it's a good thing.
Me: Oh, great.
Her: He was in a terrible traffic accident.
       He was riding his bicycle without a helmet.
Me: How awful.
Her: He survived.

Like I said, context.

I finally watched the weird German movie: The Wall. It was weird, wonderful, poetic, beautiful, chilling.
Or lighter fare: In a World, much less weird. It was funny, sweet, interesting, and very very good.