And the Beat Goes On

Baby Elsie finally had her party.
Summer mourned her grandmother.
Jane got well.
Ian is opening the new Something Silver concept gift store, Sublime, at Alderwood Mall which is close, very close, May fifth. I'm going to try to be the first customer.
Roger is running around and basking in the Mexican sun.
Julia sailed through surgery.
And walked in the woods.
Tal baked a cake.
Josie turned two.
A storm or two traveled through the Midwest.
Chris and Nora do everything.
Jan wrote a poem.
Amber has one class to go.
Jeff is traveling to England.
Taylor traveled to New York.
Jerry traveled with Marc to California.
Roger, Connor, and I are traveling to California in July.
Jean and Brittany are traveling to ME!

Kathy left. She was good for the soul, insomnia, and diabetes. Somehow she helped sweep the cobwebs out of my head. We had many unguarded conversations. We are alike in many ways, everything from movie preferences to each of us having multiple sneezing fits, basically we only disagreed on Obama and legalized marijuana. Or to quote Julia's neighbor, Colleen I think, "How about them Cubs." Kathy was like traveling with Jean "game" for what ever was next.

And Verla we overused the phrase I said I was going to steal from you. When every we couldn't think of a person, place or thing we said, "I'll tell you later." Worked like a charm. Even though I am way older then that sweet young cousin, we forgot in about equal measure. Thanks Verla it saved me many times.

I spent the days being the fat old lady, Kathy spent the days doing the heavy lifting. Or to use the phrase I stole from Jeff, "Dance monkey, dance." She was, absolutely, the helping hand. The truth is I love her warts and all, maybe I love the warts the most and just accept the rest of her. Traveling with Kathy was like traveling with Julia, she helped me immeasurably.

Before, during and after our one and only fire we talked about the wonderful fire masters of Taylor Family Reunion fame, but what we really needed was their tools. I missed the experts and I missed a microwave. Our yurt was waterproof and fun, but a tad primitive. No Keurig. We had to actually fill up the teapot at the spigot, fire up the camp stove by striking a match, and then wait, and wait, and wait for the water to heat up. Primitive!

Christian provided all the camp necessaries; sleeping bags, chairs, stove, teapot. I stole wine from Ian's stash. He gets gifted wine, a lot of wine, and he doesn't drink, but he still thought I should have asked before I rifled through his belongings. They were delicious.

We talked about everything and everyone; life, death and everything in-between -- nothing and no one was safe. I drove down the wrong side of the road for her, got lost twice, and bumped into a rock and a post while trying to remember how to back up the car. She kept offering to do it for me, I wonder why? Traveling with Kathy was like traveling with Jerry, we never stopped discussing -- stuff.

She loved the Pacific Ocean, the beach, the Columbia River, hated the Astoria Bridge. I knew I loved her for a deep reason. I didn't have to drive over it for her. The Columbia River ferry was closed so that was a no go. Next time Kathy, next time. We saw ships, tugs, kites, kite surfers, dead seals, birds, light houses, clammers with their clamming guns. Who knew? The only complaint she had was the seagulls waking her up at my house. Traveling with Kathy is like traveling with my family, she was ready to love it all.

Kathy the name of the slippers that have great arch support and will bring comfort to your feet is Keen Howsers. the clog kind. Yes, we talked about feet, knees, colonoscopies, actually we talked about health a lot. And retirement and lake living and traveling and kids and grandkids and how early the sun comes up and sits in the Pacific Northwest. Important stuff.

We discovered The Cottage Bakery in Long Beach with the best clam chowder -- EVER -- I promise. And bakery goods that rival The Chestnut Cottage. Nothing will ever beat Chestnut Cottage's apricot walnut scone, but everything else we had, and we had more than we should have, was better. Our favorite find was Sailor Jacks. Have you ever heard of those? Neither had we, but we are big fans now. Maybe the bran muffin was more medicinal than delicious, but we ate it anyway. Kathy was properly impressed with The 42nd Street Cafe beignets, they did not disappoint. It was a great trip, great fun, great adventure, great drive, great sights. Traveling with Kathy was like traveling with Jan; let's eat.

SO who is coming next! I'm ready ladies. 

In two days I had dinner with Jacquie, coffee with Carol, and lunch with Christian -- I love retirement. I can get up, get out of the house, go somewhere -- or not. I can watch a movie, read a book, learn a new language -- or not. I can travel, exercise, nap -- or not. I heard retirement was a relentless effort in creativity. I don't agree with the relentless part.

Time, solitude, and toil are the old time simple requisites for success.

The movie Spotlight was very good.
The book The Reader was very good.

Now, a word about Connor. I gave him a Tin Can Cable Car kit for his birthday. This kit had four pages of dense, dense instructions, but Connor put it together by looking at the pictures including the electrical part. I said, "Connor that is amazing," and he said, "Not really, I put Legos together all the time and they never have words."

It was amazing.

If someone doesn't come soon I might have to go back to Silver Sneakers and, gulp, exercise.
Christian quit smoking and gained weight, so he started drinking smoothies for breakfast and lost ten pounds. Yes, I'm drinking smoothies now.
The prep-nurse called me for medical information before my colonoscopy Monday; she asked me about my vision, hearing, and balance. What could I say, it all sucks.
I had my eyes examined today to check on my cataracts, no surgery, not yet, so I'm still foggy eyed.
To quote my brother Jerry, growing old isn't for sissy's.

And the beat goes on.

Slow and Slower

Pesky Ian asked if I wanted to watch season two of Fargo before he returned it to the library. "It got good reviews" always a hook for me. Twelve hours later I emerged bleary eyed from binge watching. Now I know what "binge watching" is. Occasionally he would pop around the corner and ask "Do you like it?"

I kept answering "No" but I kept watching and watching and watching until the bitter end. Here is fair warning DON'T start watching Fargo season two. You will love parts, hate arts, be puzzled, entertained and horrified. It is smart, sweet, sad, funny, and gory -- evil Ian.

That folks is life in the slow lane.

Life in the slow lane is akin to greeting card wisdom
"Hope your day is blooming with love."
Or
"Love happens in the little moments."

To off set the inane-ness of Fargo I finished the book The Snow Leopard. A deeper wisdom, a slower lane. A book about a trek in the Himalayas. About writing, climbing, observing, thinking, and striving to get to a deeper understanding of Zen Buddhism.

These quotes made me wonder, ponder, go deeper into myself.
Thank you Mary for loaning me the book.

"I longed to let go, drift free of things, to accumulate less, depend on less to move more simply,"
"The perfect sound of voiceless wisdom."
"Something infinite behind everything appeared."
'I must entrust myself to life."

And my favorite from the book;
"The great sins: to pick wildflowers and threaten children."
Tibetan folklore?

Another quote; but I can't remember if it came from a greeting card or The Snow Leopard.
"It has taken me all of my life to get where I am now."

I am such an undisciplined me. I'm of an age where practically every one I know is clearing out their homes, their lives, their beliefs, striving for deeper wisdom, less encumbrances, while I watch Fargo and notate Facebook wisdom: I am a mermaid, a dragon, a tree, a warrior. "The hardest part of childhood is the first fifty years."

What I admire, undisciplined me that I am, is beliefs pass, time passes, heartache and ecstasy pass, but life goes on in a daily way. Those small moments. Small moments of love, kindness, peace, joy. I appreciate the deeper wisdom of everything from greeting cards to FB to The Snow Leopard.

~and~
Company is coming.

Brittany wants to go to Canada and see the famous Capilano Swinging Bridge. If you know of my fear of heights then you know I think she is an evil 20-something, sass with attitude. I'll take her, but I won't step foot on it.

Kathy Noland will be here Wednesday and we have that yurt trip planned. I'm collecting tea, and coffee, and wine, and Christian came through with sleeping bags and camp chairs, and I plan on sitting and slowing down just a little bit more.

I wanted to write deeply about fear, and passion, and prayer, and listening, but I'm too excited about Kathy's upcoming trip. Undisciplined, simple, small? Yes it is, and worthwhile, and lovely, and loving, and mundane, and life.

Facebook wisdom intrudes. This was in reference to running, but I think I will use it here,
"It doesn't get easier, you get stronger."
"Relentless forward motion."
Time passes, that's for sure.

That's life.

Last Snow Leopard quote:
This is at the bottom the only courage that is demanded of us: to have courage for the most strange, the most singular, and the most inexplicable that we may encounter. That mankind has in this sense been cowardly has done life endless harm; the experiences that are called "visions" the whole so-called "spirit world," death, all those things that are so closely akin to us, have by daily parrying been so crowded out of life that the senses with which we could have grasped them are atrophied. To say nothing of God.

May you have a slower day
And I wish Jean comfort and success and good news with her test today.

What I Really Wanted to Write About Yesterday

Drinking iced tea under the shade tree.

Family gatherings of old, of yesteryear.

Amber was still a kid and not a grandmother, Jane wasn't a nurse yet, Chuck didn't race cars yet, and Christian wasn't born yet. But still the family congregated at Mom's on Saturdays. Sometimes 3 or 4, sometimes 24. Sometimes to work on a project for Mom or Dad; a new fence, tear down a shed, burn some trash, garden chores. Sometimes it was just any old Saturday, sometimes it was the 4th of July, but it was always iced tea under the shade tree. The catalpa tree. The big catalpa tree with its funny seeds, the seeds that every kid played with. Seeds that could be a baby buggy or a weapon.

Sometimes there were guests arriving; Tim and Dorie, The Strouds, the cop, I forget his name -- Priest I think, sometimes total strangers who just happened to be going down the road there on 50th Street. Amber had to wear her corrective shoes, Julia would bring down excitement; a red sports car, a case of soda, a camera. This was before she became such a nervous Nellie. Remember that time?

As active as it was with people coming and going, playing, laughing, James being James, eating, and drinking ice tea. As active as it was -- on reflection it seems a quiet time. All those troubles of those days are gone. Gone like melted spring snow. And there were troubles, it was not a trouble free time but I can't remember a one.

What I do remember is the gallons of iced tea, getting blocks of ice out of the freezer and chipping gallons of ice for the iced tea, and then drinking the iced tea slowly under the shade tree.

Times keep changing. Careers, jobs, sometimes Janice was in town, sometimes not. Jean went to California and came back, grand kids grew up and started getting married, Maxine died, but there was always the quiet calm under the tree.

Now it is more water than iced tea, there is no congregating point. Settling in at Jerry and Jane's is nice, Jean's table is nice, Janice's nook is nice, My couch is sorta nice, but it ain't the same as drinking ice tea under Mom's shade tree.

People are the same, life is the same, busy times, troubled times, quiet times. Family is the same, still grief and joy, still loving and aging, still children and still sunshine and trees. All the homing devices are aimed at Greenleaf now where we drink our iced tea under the shade tree -- or water, or bourbon, or beer, or Yoohoos. Maybe it is the same.

Kids rolling down the grassy hillside, playing in the sand, getting hurt, crying, needing a hug or kiss. Health issues, trip planning, eating, laughing, sharing with or without troubles. Amber is a grandmother, Jane is a retired nurse, Christian is middle-aging.

Life continues under the shade tree.

Grannies, Grannies, Grannies and Mimi

Boys, boys, boys -- I gotta tell you boys keep you hopping. I spent the week picking Connor up after his Lego class and keeping him until Mom got off work. How can two or three hours feel like seventeen? We had Star Wars crashes. block crashes, dinosaur crashes, crayola crashes, Connor crashes especially when he gets his foot stuck in the theater seats, or topples over from his stool, or trips over shoelaces. I ask you what keeps them alive until they grow up?

One day I couldn't fill him up, he ate dinner; mac and cheese, corn, orange, boiled egg, popcorn, candy, beet/strawberry juice, cookie, grapes, cereal bar, plus all the left over lunch that he didn't eat at school that day including a sandwich and apple slices, all in the two to three hours at my house. The next day he sniffed his displeasure at all offers of food.

He corrected me on all the errors of my thinking like the correct way to build and play "cootie," the real difference between a Storm Trooper and a Snow Trooper, that reading for fifteen minutes included the time it took to find a book, open a book, find the correct page, wiggle around on the couch to get comfortable and then and only then proceed to read. This granny wasn't fooled. He reads beautifully by the way, but oh my, he forgot his math homework. How convenient.

And as for grannies, they were everywhere in Oklahoma when I visited. It was a granny state of mind up to and including the new granny, er Mimi. Grannies made sure of rides, money, dinners, vehicles, and talks, laughs, and advice. It was grand to watch in Oklahoma but a little harder to herd my own growing grandson. Jeff does a great job being a grandpa, Tal does a great job being a, well, a Tal, but I have trouble keeping up. I have learned I can't do it everyday. Whew!

Now that I am retired and have learned that my advantage insurance pays for it, I have joined Silver Sneakers at the YMCA. Yeah, I know, cra cra crazy. I've been three times, had a tour, was introduced to all the machines and how to use them, learned the difference in all the classes; water, classic, circuit, yoga, cardio, what times the pool and the exercise room is open, where the hot tub and sauna are located and which are open all the time and which are limited. I'm not saying I'm going to change much, but I do have a goal to move. Roger again told me if I went to the Y and actually got out of the car it was a successful trip. Smart arse kids.

Even though I think Silver Sneakers is an insipid name, the actual experience has been very nice. Lovely people, kind instructors, pleasant environment, not too intimidating, and FREE. I have a very hard time joining in with a new type tribe of folks so I don't know how far I will travel this road, but I have taken my first step, steps, after all I did bike five minutes today and Jeremiah said "good job."

Another week of retirement come and gone. Busy, busy, busy. How did I ever have time to work? I have heard that over and over and over from various siblings, Now I ask, "How did I ever have time to work?" Aging isn't graceful, it's a bumpy kind of road. An all-ten-doctor-appointments-are-made kind of road. Ask Jerry about his teeth-hearing aids-glasses scenario.

Ian has painted and decked out the new bathroom, you won't recognize the navy wall and teal-ish towels. Beautiful.

Easter Sunday came and went without a hitch. Everyone ate too much: Kahlua Pig, Hawaiian cornbread, fried rice, green antioxidant salad and pie -- just to keep it balanced. Ian made an emergency run to the store for egg dye and then proceeded to let Connor dye all the boiled eggs and then all the un-boiled eggs to boot. Sometimes you just can't stop dying eggs. Connor had fun and called Ian "The Best."

You can have a really good life NOT following your passion. Have you noticed how Julia takes on the world? Dabbler deluxe not following a passion, but dabbling in life to its fullest. Besides having a lovely home, lovely couch and lovely bed, she has dabbled with welding, community theater, photography, stitchery, candle making, bird watching, recycling before it was cool, volunteering for The Crystal Bridge activities before it opened, motorcycles, doll making, doll house, gardening, ballet, yoga, hiking, biking, running, and travels. I for one can tell you traveling with Julia is fun and fulsome. And reading, did I leave anything out?

My thought of the day; continue with a messy mind; day dreaming, playing, collaborating, expressing, or sitting in solitude.

I just talked to Jean and Kathy -- trips they be looming.

Here is to a fulsome life, aging gracefully or not.