Pre Cruise Musings

Family is coming, lots of family, lots of beloved family. Trips to the airport is a joy picking up family, not so much so sending family back to their lives. Jerry reminded me that in three weeks the Jean's 75 Birthday Alaskan Family Rolling Cruise Circus will be over.

However, for now it is full blown pre-cruise activity. Bathroom scrubbed. Wardrobe palette complete. Itinerary set. Bills paid. Grandson lined up. Taxis and bedrooms reserved. Hair cut. Side excursions pondered. New restaurants to share. Flower house to show off. Van rented. Dusting, dusting -- Dusting? Who said anything about dusting?

Be warned -- I'll pick you up at the airport, I'll drive you to the cruise ship, I'll mix you a scotch and water, I'll even paint your toenails, but I am not, will not dust. When you come to The Inn at Mukilteo you will become intimate with Jan's personal dust. It is nice dust. How does the saying go, "My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy." Be warned.

While Amber is in Seattle for her first Pacific Northwest visit does she want to see the Big Wheel, the Space Needle, the Troll under the bridge? Does she want to climb a mountain, go through the Monkey Caves, walk to the Ice Caves, kayak on Lake Union, eat at Spud's, drive Chuckanut Drive, ride the Ducks, admire Connor, or all of the above? It seems she has five little pockets of time twixt all the other this and thats, and the cruise of course.

Jerry and Jane were buying some new long sleeve shirts for the coolish Alaskan weather and mentioned, out loud, that they were getting ready for a cruise. A couple standing close by said they were getting ready for a cruise, "where are you going?"
Alaska.
Well so are we, "when are you going?"
September 6th.
"Well so are we." 
Isn't the world amazing, from a department store in Oklahoma to the shores of Seattle. What a fascinating interesting world we live in.

I have one minimal desire. I would love to get a peek at the aurora borealis.

I have seen some powerful images in my life. A lone working cowboy riding a horse down out of some hills in Wyoming just like he was riding out of the past -- at sunset.

I saw a massive tree felled in the forest. It was such a stunning sight that I didn't even feel bad for the tree, just elated that I got to see it happen. That image is with me still. The tremor, the slow topple, the sudden sight and sound of the crash, it all was thrilling.

Whales. You can't beat a thrilling experience like seeing whales gliding, roaming, coursing through the Puget Sound. Waiting for them is some of the best waits I have ever had. It takes patience to wait for whales.

A log boom, also on the Puget Sound, actually two log booms slowly meandering past my look out from high above. At all of these experiences I was an accidental spectator. I couldn't conjurer them, but I had a sensitivity of deep appreciation of each image as it was presented to my wondering eye. Those images didn't go un-noticed.

Now my eye is prepared to see some magical Alaskan image as it is presented to me. I know not what it will be or where it will be, but I do know it is coming. I am prepared to be amazed by the infinitesimally small or the magnificent.

Yes my preparations are just about done, the physical, the emotional, the spiritual. I am willing to be amazed.

These are tenets that I try to apply to my everyday sort of life, the miracle of living, the power of life, to appreciate the stunning sights and sounds that abound all about every day, but, sadly, I fail more often than not. I see people, and irony, and joy, but often miss the deeper essence. From Michelangelo's Pieta to battleships to the I-5 corridor to the hummingbirds out my back window, isn't it all a miracle? Hum, the deeper, spiritual essence of the I-5 corridor I'll have to ponder that a minute. Well, it is teaming with life, certainly it is as interesting as a hive of bees, they are a miracle. It is a type of culmination of engineering and human's fascination with road trips. A human equivalent of whale pods traversing their sea-ways to feeding and mating grounds, and don't we all need that.

I read; "What if the goal of life is to create yourself a soul?" Jorodowsky. That's a ponder-able thought.

I didn't give a bum a dollar the other day and now I feel bad. Why didn't I? I will usually give a buck or a cigarette. Ponder-able?

I said to Connor, "Isn't it amazing you are going to start school."
He looked at me blankly and asked, "Why?'
"Well, because you are going to kindergarten, you are going to learn to read, you will be going to real school."
He looked at me blankly and asked, "Do I go to fake school now?"
Ponder-able.
Granny had a hard time back peddling her way out of that.
Actually, I don't think I did.

A cruise SOS: I have lost my purple sequin top, the one Bo made dress-for-dinner pants to wear with, the one to wear with my red shoes. Lost, as in I have no idea where it could have gone to. I've checked closets, bags, shelves, underwear drawer, freezer, pantry, everywhere I can think of and it is just gone.

Beats me where it is, maybe it's with my missing dust rag.

"In life if something comes we say Yes, Yes.
In life if something goes we need to also say Yes, Yes." Jorodowsky again. Ponder-able.

I'm ready for Jean's 75 Birthday Alaskan Family Rolling Cruise Circus. Family is coming and ain't I glad.

One last quote before I go: "What is to give light, must endure burning." Viktor Frankl.
Ponder-able.

Did I mention I got Mermaid Blue toenails to match my ocean going excursion?
Not ponder-able.

A Jan-ish Kind of Day

Somehow the movie Noah turned a story in the Bible into a Marvel Comic type of movie, the movie is getting high marks on Rotten Tomatoes, but I didn't much care for it. How about you? I did like the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, cute and sweet. It got low marks on RT. Guess I'm in a sweet-ish Jan-ish lowbrow kind of mood. How about you? I loved it when Shirley McClain's character said, "We are all grown ups here." but that is one of my favorite philosophies anyway so it was easy to love.

My body always has a little pain somewhere. Sometimes it has a lot of pain somewhere, but the other day driving home from work, at the end of my 40 hour stint, my body hurt every where. Hmm don't remember that happening before. A new era has dawned. Everything from my head to my toes hurt; head, neck, shoulders, back, hips, gut, thighs, legs, calves, ankles, arms, wrists, butt. No fall was involved so I think it was tension. Not something I am very experienced with. Tension pain. I think the cruise is surfacing in my body in mysterious ways. I'm thinking about it, planning it, pondering it, looking forward to it, wondering about it, anticipating it, it seems as though the cruise now has my full attention.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting so much advice about a cruise that I worry if I will have room for the experience of a cruise, even my Mohs doctor chimed in with an opinion or two. And if the adviceor has actually taken the same Inland Passage Alaskan cruise, watch out -- incoming -- except for the Bowman family, whom I wanted to ask; Where can you find coffee at 4am if need be, that early early spot you guys discovered?

Two weeks -- two weeks and family starts arriving. I am not renting an eight passenger van for sporting around Seattle, trips to the airport, the Troll, and/or Spuds. I have a different plan in mind. This cruise is so going to happen. Cathy will see the flower house, you will all see Connor and tell me three times, each, how cute he is. This cruise action has turned a corner and it is all downhill from here. Oops, a little bit of a mixed metaphor there, sorry about that. Pier 91 here we come.

My only disappointment is I won't be sitting on Edmond's beach watching MY ship set sail up the Puget Sound towards the Juan de fuca Straight and out to sea. I've watched those cruise ships for years sitting on a dock by the bay and now it is my turn. I will need an out of body experience.

That sounds delicious to say "MY ship set sail up the Puget Sound towards the Juan de fuca Straight and out to sea." I shiver with excitement and anticipation, no wonder my body is aching.

"There are two ways to live life. One as if nothing is a miracle. The other as though everything is a miracle." from Lynn.
Or to quote Jerry, "Life is good."

I'm working on my cruise wardrobe palette, I mean, I do have seven pairs of red shoes.

Even though it seems like it, not everything is a cruise connection. Right now all connections and relationships seem paramount. Verla and Earl stopped by for a visit and I was blown away, again, at how active Verla is with keeping family connections. She knows far flung cousins; who they are, where they are, what they are doing, how their health is, and well, all sorts of stuff.  Verla has your number; in her email, on her phone, locked into Facebook, and on the family scroll, she was amazing. Is amazing.

I kept trying to come up with some sort of elegant title for her behavior-quest-mission. Scribe was pretty damn weak. Chronicler seemed officious. Secretary to mundane. Registrar to academic. So like a good wordsmith I consulted my Roget's Thesaurus.

My friend Claire asked me at breakfast if I found the proper word?
I said nooooo...
I got distracted by the word Thesaurus
and took a fascinating mini stroll through Wikipedia.

Roget started writing his in 1805, the first modern thesaurus, and published his first one in 1852. It has never been out of print. I love the original format versus the modern format. Roget's is organized by sense, conceptually instead of alphabetically. I like that. It has always been more helpful for me.

Latin word, coming from Greek, meaning "treasure, treasury, storehouse." It is also notated that the entomology is uncertain, Of course it is. Maybe from "To put, to place." I wonder if Judy received her thesaurus for her birthday?

Back to cruise and family; I'm stocked up on toilet paper, coffee, napkins, hand soap, and V-8 Juice. Bought a new coffee pot. Amber will have a day to roam Seattle at will. She might climb a mountain. I'm slow as Methuselah, Noah's grandfather I think, but getting things done. That is just the way this monkey chitters. I have all my medicine ordered, and, and, and...

More Jan'ishness:

I loved writing about book club last week.
On an early morning call at work I heard a rooster crowing in the back ground. What a nostalgic blast. It might have been several roosters because there was quite a chorus.
The smog has been horrific, but getting better with cooler weather, now if we could just get a little rain.
I read the other day that both New York and Chicago get more annual rainfall than Seattle. All I know is what I read.

When we went out to dinner with Verla and Earl the other evening, Connor ate the little raw cabbage cup his gyoza was nestled in, dipped in the gyoza dipping sauce, of course. Oh and also the raw carrots decorating his plate, and an orange slice. Don't know if he ate a single gyoza.    Love that boy.

Pier 91, Puget Sound, Juan de fuca Strraight, Pacific Ocean, Inland Passage, Alaska, here comes
Jean's 75 Birthday Alaskan Cruise Family Rolling Circus.
Cruise control, cruise connections, cruise brain.

Cruise brain might be hazardous to you health.

Simple things: seeking first to understand instead of being understood.

Now I'm wondering about the word "Straight" as in Juan de fuca Straight. Talk to you later about that.

I figured it out, Verla is an activist, a family activist. Love her, love you, love the idea of a cruise.
It's so going to happen.

Book Club Tribute

Today marks my Book Club's 15th Anniversary.

Fifteen years? Wow, multiple wows can't do it justice. The charter members were Claire O'Keefe, Mary Carstensen, Lynn Brunell, and myself. Mary and I had talked about starting one for two or three years before we finally sat down and said this is it, now is the time, this is the date. Claire's only request as we discussed book, after book, after book for our inaugural selection was she wanted to pick a book that neither Mary nor I had read; Ordinary People was a great first read. Kathleen Hults missed the first meeting but was there for the second with the book read and ready to participate. I read up on book clubs before we actually started ours and discovered reams of written material about the do's and don't's of book clubbing. So so many rules was mind numbing, we elected to keep it simple: our list of rules/rule.

 You don't have to read the book. It has worked for us. 

We have had as many as fifteen and as few as one attend, but mostly it's the core folks month after month after month, with Jerry sort of an honorary long distance member kind of thing. He has slotted a few books in here and there, I don't think ever intentionally so. Sandy MacCarthy started coming when most of us worked for Eddie Bauer, then she moved to Texas for many years, then she moved back and started coming again when some of us worked for Washington Mutual after Eddie Bauer closed it's doors. Eleanor Orth started coming with her charm, elegance and immigrant perspective. Carol Brown started coming with her fascinating roots to the area, a born and bred Seattleite. Now Kathleen is starting a new phase of her life and is moving to Wisconsin to be of service to her aging parents. What will we do without her grace, wit, sharp observations, love of all things Celtic, and her quiet calm demeanor? She will be deeply missed. Mary is going to try to start up a Facebook page to help with those universal connections that are now universally possible.

Speaking of connections, we started off with paper books and now it's mostly electronic apparatus for those smart enough to master them. Not necessarily me, but most of the others. We are so au curant. I think every brand and device has been dabbled with. Sometimes we discussed the devices instead of the book.

We have always chosen a book that was in paperback and therefore less expensive -- except for one time. One time we pooled our money and bought a hard cover book straight off the best seller shelf that everyone read and shared and passed to the next person; Sea Biscuit. That was easier to do when we all worked at Eddie Bauer. Then we all went to see the movie, Jean was visiting and went with us. 

We have read fiction, non-fiction, and science fiction. We have read biography's and autobiographies. We've read about angels and demons and madman working on the Oxford Dictionary from an insane asylum. We've read about Comanche uprisings and scalping and wild children taking over a Christmas pageant.

We have read local; Seattle or Pacific Northwest authors, and in honor of some of our roots; Montana or Oklahoma connections, sentimental: Norman Rockwell's Greatest Painting, heavy; Blindness, lighthearted, frivolous, ethnic, immigrant. We have borrowed ideas for books from everywhere. Kurt Vonnegut died so we read one of his books. We had Kathleen's niece pick a book when she was living with Kathleen one summer, good book, great discussion. Jasmine -- I think. 

Sometimes we picked a theme and everyone chose their own book about the theme and shared; Shackleton and The Dead Sea Scrolls come to mind. I remember one time we watched a movie along with reading a book; Stranger than Fiction, there was a connection. We have tacked on children's books for no specific reason, just because we have no rules.

We have read Noble prize winners, Pulitzer prize winners, Booker prize winners, classical, a smattering of international books and some really mediocre stuff. Not much romance. A book we disagreed on, with divided beliefs, led to fierce discussion like A Curve in Time. A book that everybody loved led to no discussion at all, so at book club we merely caught up on family, events, kids, work, life.

It is always fun, entertaining, educational, and how can I put this? Bonding. 

Our intent was to create a book club. We became so much more. Carol gives knitting lessons, Lynn brings food, Kathleen brings clippings, Claire brings the latest NPR discussion, Eleanor brings herself as often as possible. We are a loving, encouraging, listening, supporting group who loves to read. We have had kid trouble, car trouble, weather trouble, broken bones, shifting jobs, careers, and homes. Life has happened; death, sickness, grandchildren, son going off to war. Fifteen years covers a lot of life. This is a group of smart, smart ladies with deep, intuitive, gifted insights into books -- and life. We will keep reading, chatting, experiencing, and living for many many years.

Actually we are unremarkable; unremarkable women, unremarkable years, unremarkable books, unremarkable lives that has led to something pretty remarkable.

We are Ordinary People.

For years we tried to name our book club and it just never happened, no name ever inspired or stuck until Connor was old enough to observe that book club was always by The Brown Bear Bakery with it's big brown bear carving. He knew the name of the book club was The Bear Book Club and so we are.

Sandy MacCarthy has kept a book club reading list on her blog for years. How can we ever thank Sandy enough for this gift. She is special in our hearts.

http://sandy-lifeisbeautifullifeiscrazy.blogspot.com/

Oh, by the way Sandy, you are a few months behind.  What are you doing? Dragon boat racing, working, knitting, walking, reading, visiting, vacationing, hiking, gardening, volunteering, busy being a wife and living your life?

Tonight marks the 15th Anniversary of book club. Ian was fifteen years old and Mary had no grandchildren instead of six.

Benign Random Thoughts

"Being 70 is no joke, but it isn't a sin either." Now I can't remember where I read/saw that.

"Go big or go home." Zero Dark Thirty.

Connor is becoming a swimming machine.
I may have my hearing aids by cruise time.
Book club's 15th  anniversary meeting is Wed night at my house.
Ian asked me not to mention his birthday on Facebook, so I won't, but not because I don't love him or forgot him, but only because he asked me not to.

Vegetables:
Good vegetables vs bad vegetables, poison vegetables, the dirty dozen loaded with pesticides, organic vs cheap, canned, frozen, fresh, dried, I have no trouble eating enough fried chicken or fruit, but getting vegetables down my gullet can be a challenge.

Don't get me wrong, I love vegetables, but I hate messing about with them. One of the problems to me is the carrots that need washed, scrubbed, chopped and cooked taste so much better the the little pre-scrubbed ones you can buy in a ready-to-eat-package. Beets scrubbed, cooked, and peeled taste so much better than canned. I figure frozen or canned vegetables are better than no vegetables, but I should not have all the sodium. Finding salt free frozen and canned vegetables becomes a bit of a challenge.

Canned tomatoes, a staple for years, is now considered toxic. Acid and tin or something like that, and I need to find the salt free. What's a diabetic to do? I fail sometimes. And I can eat a gallon of vegetables and still be hungry, still need a bite of carbohydrate, a cracker, cookie, or something else that is diabetic poison.

Potatoes -- I used to cook them three or four times a week, now it's barely three or four times a year, well not counting the forays with burgers and fries. I love potatoes; chopped, fried, boiled, mashed, baked.

Pasta -- I am maybe 81% switched to whole wheat.
Rice -- 67% switched to brown or wild.

A vegetable diet makes me feel better, but still hungry and dissatisfied. And to tell you the truth I'm sick and tired of all the vegetable preparing and cooking. I've gotten old and lazy. And all the press about this bad vegetable and that bad vegetable. And all the rules. And all the dos and don'ts. It used to be so simple. Maybe it's all the rules that turns me off. I do have a love/hate relationship with rules. Maybe a combination of both.

Stephanie can cook vegetables that make the angels sing. Jan can't.
Tal is a terrific vegetable cook, except for that dirty 6 letter word squash, but I have seen him in the kitchen washing, scrubbing, peeling, chopping, mincing, preparing, cooking the tasty tidbits. Work, work, work.

I don't cook like I used to but I never became a modern cook, I can't seem to bridge the gap from chicken fried steak to Thai orange beef salad or green papaya salad, or Autumn root vegetable medley. Don't know why.

I can eat salads, but want dressing.
Squash -- with crackers and butter
Zucchini -- stuffed, preferably with a little Italian sausage
Potatoes -- loaded
Beets -- pickled
Tomatoes -- with pasta of course
Hominy -- in menudo
Okra -- fried
Kale -- just not into it

I put vegetables in my omelettes, vegetables in my soup, vegetable pizza, lasagna, vegetable cake. I can make them all. I haven't tried vegetable ice cream yet, but I love SoBe's carrot orange soda.

If you have any ideas on how not to be lazy or simple vegetable cooking recipes shoot them at me.
~and~
I read something interesting about piggy banks but it will have to wait for another time. Maybe not: "pig" is what they used to call the earthenware used for coin containers. Coin containers have been found in centuries old archaeology digs, Asian and European. Fascinating.

Alaska preparations are in force:

I've borrowed a red polka-dotted dress from the sweet young thing at work. I asked her where she bought it and promised not to wear it anywhere close to where she was and she offered to loan it to me. I love sweet young things. Ian was worried I was borrowing a dress from a twenty-something but I now have his full seal of approval as long as I get some kind of black wrap to go with it for chilly Alaskan evenings. To go with my seven pair of red shoes.

I culled out all my nautical earrings, including the sailboats Jane gave me twenty-five years ago, also the black pearls, the octopus, the sea turtles (2), whales (2) one pair from the Jeff and one pair from the Bowman's after their Alaskan cruise, a gift for being a taxi to and fro. They forgave me for driving down the wrong side of the street and getting lost in Seattle after their flight arrived many hours late. At least I think they forgave me.

They also brought me, as another thank you, a fantastic ethnic Alaskan woven shoulder bag -- beautiful! I think that little Alaskan bag deserves to go back to Alaska one last time. Cathy says I need a little thing for various reasons but I forget for what now, swipe cards or something. There is so much I don't know about cruising.

What I do know is I will be bringing enthusiasm, excitement, anticipation, joy, and love as we get this cruise under way.

Seven pair of red shoes have to go somewhere besides up the hill to work. Go big or go home -- we are going BIG.
Jean's 75th Birthday Alaskan Cruise Rolling Circus

An Alternative to Killing

Kill. Kill. Kill.
Let's all go kill someone.
Killing in schools. Killing in Gaza, Killing in Africa. Killing at the movies. Killing in Afghanistan. Killing at borders. Ethnic, religious, territorial, passion, betrayal, control, statement, attention, king and country, initiation, fun, for oil, are there more reasons to kill than not to kill?

When is it okay not to kill?
What happened to man's humanity to man?
What happened to "thou shall not kill?"
Love thy neighbor?
Do not covet?

Bodies pile up with depressing regularity. Does anyone else feel helpless? Preaching to the choir is useless. I can't change any countries foreign policy, voting for gun control or joining any kind of "let there be peace on Earth" movement seems weightless, inconsequential. And that is just the deliberate killing and doesn't include collateral, accidental, negligence, ineptitude, drunk. How long will it take us to get back to primitive times when it is every tribe for itself? Never mind, I think we are already there, actually never left.

If in spite of mankind travelling deep into space, cell phones, pizza parlors, helium balloons, radiant purple nail polish, strong deodorant, and pets killing isn't deterred, how can I? If  millions of churches, synagogues, temples, covens, ashrams can't teach humanity to stop killing each other, how can I?

I have a thirty year old photograph of a 7 year old holding an AKA 47 machine gun protecting a leader.

I have never experienced a night where someone might come through with a rocket, or machete or gas to wipe me out. I've never experienced a society where if I lay my gun down for peace my enemy will take advantage of that stupidity and shoot me.

Is this survival at it's basest?

With the recent deaths in the family, with the sure knowledge that you never know when it will be the last time you see, kiss, hold, or comfort a loved one I'm feeling some death anxiety. I'm reaching for beauty. Imagine scales of time with killing on one side and life on the other, is the world in balance?

Humanity has survived so much, come so far, reached for the stars and sought depth of understanding in the world's smallest matter. We have lived to an age where we justify our own existence. Do we willingly brush that aside?

I'm losing confidence, I'm losing focus of the infinite moments of beauty, love, compassion. Yes, I believe life goes on, maybe not humanity, but life in one form or another will go on. I do believe one way to make the world a better place is to make yourself a better person. I hearken back to the Portuguese Fisherman's Prayer, "Guide me, please, my boat is so small and the ocean so wide."

Generous thoughts for generous people. The simple regular world I live in; Connor learning to swim, Jean and her healthy heart, birds, songs, Alaska, a setting Sun or a rising Moon. The ones who make the world worthwhile. The world where my worst is a torn fingernail, a flat tire, a slow commute. A world easy to live in. A world of Roger cooked hot dogs, lunch with Christian, sweet Ian. Humor, love, joy, it's all still there to be plucked at will.

A tribe of one on the side of peace among many tribes of one. Thank you for the beauty you bring to the world. Thank you Jerry and Jane for the card and cartoon, you are part of the good ones. The world goes on in all it's madness and beauty.

"Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me."

I yield the quandary unanswerable and drift back to the daily mundane life of mine.
My heart aches for those under fire as I drift to dust.