Middle of July

"Dear Lord give us rest tonight, or if we must be wakeful, cheerful." a quote that spoke to me from the movie A Man for all Seasons. An old movie but worthy, about moral certitude, like I said, worthy.

Roger and I were going out to breakfast at a gourmet-ish place, The Rusty Pelican, we arrived about 7:30 and the place didn't open until 8:00. Roger asked, what kind of breakfast place doesn't open until 8:00 AM? I said a leisure class breakfast place. Roger said Oh, they don't want any Joe and Bob's from the construction site. We went to the Saw Mill Cafe instead, a little more working class and heartily delicious.

We had twelve days in a row with temperatures over 80 degrees, this morning it is a blissful 55. As Christian says, "I've turned into a Washington weenie." I talked to Jerry one afternoon when it was 85 here and 75 there -- what's up with that?

I've learned a bit more about deafness; my ears hear fine, my brain interprets fine, but the connecting corridors are a bit mushy. The Dr. likened it to a 10 lane highway that has several lanes closed due to construction, a traffic accident affecting some more lanes, and a slow driver in another lane leaves not much space for sound to get through. What an interesting fascinating world we live in. I said well I'm just glad deafness can't be blamed on being fat and smoking. Oh but it does, she said. Damn. Also diabetes contributes. Interestingly my downturn in hearing is just about even with my diabetes diagnosis.

I told her everyone in my family would believe my brain is a bit off. I can't hear because I have a mushy brain.

As I was leaving the doctor's office she asked me where in Oklahoma I was from? Seems she was a Shawnee girl. What an interesting, fascinating world we live in.

Due to life's little speed bumps; skin cancer, hearing aids, diabetes out of whack, Dr appointments, phone calls, work issues, company selling, a blister on my heel the size of Minnesota, from my new shoes no less, the ones I was going to wear for a few hours and wound up wearing for 24, don't ask, and other "stuff." And then the deaths of Dale and Aunt Anita which affected me in different ways I went into a deep silence. I just couldn't do people for a while. I was listening exhausted.

I felt like I was in the middle of a Louie L'Amour novel Death and Defiance in the High Country without a hero, a villain or any high county which left Death and Defiance. Now I am onto the resolution, the denouement, happy thoughts and happy places. Being cheerful.

There will always be bad news and good news. Sometimes it is the same thing; getting older/still alive. Feeling brotherly and brotherly-in-law love, the Arkansas birthday boys. Anticipating niece love with Amber and Nora's birthdays coming up. Appreciating the irony of choosing to work at a small local company so my job wouldn't be exported to Canada or Asia, and then my company exporting to Canada instead. Now that is ironic.

So here I am sitting in the middle of July wrapped up with cruise anticipation, planning taxis and bedrooms, watching the Sound fog lift, the mountains appear, appreciating a job to go to, a brain that works, feet for a sore heel, and shoes for said feet. Alive and enjoying breakfast, alive and enjoying the weather, alive and enjoying movies, hearing, feeling, working, thinking, imagining, maybe even listening.

Deep in July in deep silence, you can go into deep appreciation and deep love. It is a cheerful place to be.