Trouble, or Not

"The trouble with trouble is it always starts out as fun" Wisdom from the local pizza parlor marquee.

"Getting older is its own beauty" Dalai Lama

I was gifted, from somewhere, a fascinating Facebook post about a Master Penman. If you haven't watched it, go back on my timeline, find it, and watch it. I can't remember seeing such a perfect example of a true art form. I can scribble, sketch, daub paint, and color, but this young man took years, years to perfect his art. Years of study, practice, and failure to achieve near perfection. I believe that his is truly an art form, much more so than the people who can throw color on a canvas, after all monkeys can paint.

This made me ponder how lackadaisical my approach to art has been. How lackadaisical my approach to life has been. When did I ever take the time, patience, passion, love, or trouble to master anything? Art, cooking, gardening, no scholarly study, no precision in home care, hair care, woodworking, or nature? The trouble with passion is it takes care, time, patience, love and yes, trouble to master.

"Jack of all trades, master of none" comes to mind. This is what I have always claimed for myself. My passion was; looking, listening, playing at as many interesting endeavors and in as many interesting ways as I possibly could. To say yes to one thing means saying no to all the other fascinating options. Or to put it another way, "You can do anything you want to do, but you can't do everything."

Anyway, I looked up "Jack of all trades..." and found the rest of the quote: "Jack of all trades, master of none, though ofttimes better than master of one." I am not sure I agree with the rest of the quote wholeheartedly, but it was comforting. The information went on to talk about the person who does have an interest in many areas is called a polymath. "A Jack of all trades may also be a master of integration, as the individual knows enough from many learned trades and skills to be able to bring their disciplines together in a practical manor. Such a person is known as a polymath or a Renaissance man." excuse me, and or woman.

Hum, I'm feeling better and better about my skill sets until the article mentioned Leanardo daVinci as the typical example. Nope -- not me, absolutely NOT me. I'm no daVinci, Einstein, or for that matter Hitler. Too much trouble.

I'm just an old lady who likes a little bit of lots and lots of stuff. I'm not "goofy" enough to be passionate, to quote Jeff's famous line "Passionate people are goofy." I'll leave all the trouble of mastering anything to others, Bronc riding, sky diving, submarine designer, mountain climber can be left to others. I have enough trouble in my life right now.

Fast tracking refinancing the condo, Dr appointments to get skin cancer removed, getting the dryer repaired is all the trouble I want right now. All the trouble I am capable of handling. I went to the dark-side, right to the edge of the Jan universe, attempting to handle all this trouble.

The refinancing of my condo had me coming apart at the seams. Ian, nervously, took over, bless him, all the scanning, electronic signing, attaching. The only thing I actually knew how to do was the emailing. Woe is me. Gathering documents, scanning, signing, researching everything to present to the mortgage company is almost more trouble than it's worth. Almost, I said almost. Bank statements and pay-stubs were easy, finding the policy number for the fire insurance on the condominium complex made me old.

The trouble with me and all my fascinating dabbling is it never included technology. I chastise myself, harshly, because of my technological difficulties, but not enough to go to the trouble of changing it. Ian wants to buy me a better phone, an iPhone, yeah that will be a great boon to confirm my ignorance. I almost don't know what-the-hell it is let alone how-to-use-it. Claire told me phone companies have classes for old ladies, God I hope so. I can do classes they are no trouble at all.

Dr Jack, the dermatologist, was no trouble at all either, he was a blooming miracle. I had an 8:45 AM appointment and I was walking out the door by 9:00. My face was burnt all to heck with frost bite loveliness, but cancer free. And only one more appointment instead of seven. Miracle!

Another thing that doesn't trouble me is I don't yearn so much anymore. Refer back to the Dalai Lama quote. I don't yearn for travel. Places like Nova Scotia no longer calls my name, it feels like too much trouble. I don't yearn for adventure, perfect health. I don't yearn for romance. I'll take my love, fairy tale and otherwise, in the form of grandson, sons, family, friends. What a relief.

Friends are worth any trouble it takes with the blessing that they are no trouble at all. Growing older with friends is like Paul Simon says "Can you imagine us years from today? Sharing a park bench quietly. How terribly strange to be seventy." Being seventy is no trouble at all.

Being bombarded with art, love, creativity, and beauty crowds out negativity. "The world is full of a number of things, I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings."  Robert Louis Stevenson. Wondrous.

And that reminded me of another RLS poem -- "I have a little shadow." What fun dabbling is, everything from pizza parlors to the Dalai Lama, including iPhones -- I think.

We are all our very own "play station." That is what I call Connor's three activity shelves in my almost refinanced living room. And I do believe from the bottom of my heart in the art form of everything. Everything from baking bread to circumnavigating the Earth, or the Universe, or a your own back yard. Art has many forms and colors. Pruning a tree or navigating to Pluto, I can't do either one.

I am quite content with the story of my life. It has been trouble and no trouble in the appropriate degrees.

Have a trouble free day, no, on second thought have a wondrous day with or without trouble.

Weekends! Well, My Weekend anyway.

I told a friend at work what my days off looked like. My weekend would be Dr appointments, dryer repair, Connor playdate, condo refinance, movies and books. She said, "Well, at least you should do something fun!"

A different friend said, "Self care, family love, and home healing. What a great weekend!"

Friends? Is there anything finer?

Family? Is there anything sweeter?

Home? Is there anyplace safer, where we feel more comfortable?

Entertainment? Books and movies aren't for everyone, I get that.

Love? Is there anything more sustaining?

I've been missing my family and friends. Its been a tad bit lonely around here. For all my love of solitude, its been a tad bit quiet. No Verla and Earl dropping by, or anybody else for that matter. I guess I was spoiled with visits from Jean and Julia. 

~ But ~

My trip to Flathead Lake for a book club retreat is almost here. September 14th to be exact.

Jerry and Jane have given me a big fat maybe for a driving trip to Washington in September.

Greenleaf is in October. Yes Jeff, I'll see you at Greenleaf.

Kathy Noland retires the last of December and is planning a trip to see me for the month of January.

Even Brittany was showing her Grandmother good airfare deals to travel to Seattle after the first of the year.
I love the way that girl thinks.

I'll have a long visit with Lynn today.

A short visit with Mary tomorrow.

A phone visit with Claire every Wednesday. It's official now.

~ And ~

Book club is coming. Small but sweet. It's been a long time since we all congregated. I am so looking forward to that, although I haven't read the book yet.

I love the fact that my family and friends care enough to come see me even with all my cobwebs and dust.

Except for Ian. I was trying to plan a sons dinner for his birthday August 16th. He will be busy, thank you very much. Well, how about August 23rd or this Sunday the 9th? He will think about it and let me know.

In the past year I've had to replace my coffee pot, microwave, computer, car tires, couch lamp, bedroom ceiling fan, and the air purifier (for my incessant smoking). The screen door and tub surround are still in desperate need of repair, they are on my wish list but will just have to wait. I mentioned to Ian, in passing, that we have lived here for ten years without any major repairs, and the time was coming when appliances would need replacing. Then the dryer broke. Now, Ian is mad at me for bringing bad karma into our life. I should of just kept my mouth shut, thank you very much.
God, I love Ian. 

I picked Connor up at daycare and said "Why don't we go by the grocery store and buy stuff to make dinner for dad."
He said, "I want you to buy me some Lego's." 

We didn't do either.

We went to the apartment where he had me drawing his backpack, coloring his guitar picture, cutting out rockets, admiring his swim goggles, helping him put together his Spiderman puzzle, and explaining, in detail, what came out of the round holes on the back of cars, exhaust, and Dad made dinner; meatball sandwiches and kale and brussel sprout salad, thank you very much.
God, I love them, son and man.

Roger and Connor are going to California to visit family and Legoland later this month. I'll just bet he has some new Lego's in his future, Thank you very much. 

A tomato plant update; 22 tomatoes not ripe yet and the temperature in Seattle falling to the low 70's. 

No fun movies or good books to report.

After writing my last blog on the "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" and all my second hand stuff, I looked around amazed at how much second hand stuff I actually had. Besides cobwebs, I don't know where they came from. I have a bed frame that Jerry made for either Mark or Amber when they lived on Drexel. Marc might have been six years old. How long ago was that? I have a dresser that I pulled out of Roger's Aunt Sarah's garage in 1971, Roger's old TV, Carol's old couch, Claire's old rocking chair, Amber's old end table, Dad's old lamp base, Lynn's old end table, Junior Carrillo's old bookshelf he made in high school wood working class probably around 1969, and my theater chairs salvaged from The Rising Star Baptist Church. Plus crates, cotton, boxes, shelves from the barn, shelves from The Model T... I finally just quit looking around.

Tomorrow I go get my cancerous nose looked at. Today it is time to go test my blood and then wait for the dryer repairman. My "appointment" is be available from 9 AM until 1 PM, after that Lynn and I are free to go play. After all it is MY weekend.

And my friend who said, "Well, at least you should do something fun." She was also just looking out for me. 

God I love friends, thank you very much.