On Any Given Day

On any given day, one or multiples act up.

Here is an inventory -- of sorts -- about growing old. Starting at the top of my head and moving down, including the unmentionable parts, a walking talking example of geriatric ailments.

Introducing one mixed up body:

Head -- gray haired and thinning.
     No constant, throbbing, recurring headaches -- thankfully.
Eyes -- about done in, poor sight, eyeglasses, cataracts getting stronger.
Skin -- skin cancer hither and yon.
Teeth -- about gone.
Ears -- hearing loss, hearing aids, but not deaf -- yet.
Neck -- stiff with arthritis -- old age ain't for sissies.
Back -- pretty constant tension between shoulder blades.
Back part II -- sore and twitchy.
Lungs -- duh, COPD from 50 years of smoking.
Left shoulder -- muscle ache.
Right shoulder -- metal ache from that 10 inch rod inserted after my graceful fall.
Elbow -- strange growth that won't go away. Big growth.
Wrist -- smidgen of carpel tunnel. 30 years typing on a computer.
Heart -- it has had its problems, but ticking.
Stomach -- a veritable pin cushion from insulin shots.
Muscles -- weak, I can't open jars or heft pans like I used to.
Unmentionable -- infection, probably a yeast infection as a result of the antibiotics I took for strange growth that won't go away.
An aside: you should see Ian bring me what I need, yogurt and cranberry juice and ask me how I feel, without ever mentioning the unmentionable.
Hemorrhoids -- you know where.
Bladder -- um, weak, unless I go to the bathroom every 37 minutes or so.
Right knee -- torn meniscus, intermittent pain, here today, gone tomorrow.
Left knee -- just stiff, painful, and creaky.
Legs -- restless leg syndrome,
  but who else get medication with the side effect suicide.
Ankles -- wobbly, sometimes swollen.
Body -- wobbly, need cane.
Sleep -- what is sleep?
Bones -- lost somewhere according to doctors.
Boobs are okay.

Fat
No exercise
Diabetic
High blood sugar
High cholesterol

I'm sure I forgot something.

I can't beat Julia but I do have an assortment of doctors.
Jerry told his neighbor that when he and Jane go out, they are going for a doctor appointment.

So there you are, an assortment of the coming attractions that Jeff mentioned once and we have oft repeated since. We miss Jeff.

Whimper, groan, whine all you want, but bring your rickety body to the reunion .

Did Cinderella's fairy Godmother have a bad back?

On reflection not all of these ailments are age related. Damn!