Things That Go Bump in the Night

Things that go bump in the night -- me -- and the nine miracles that followed.

So who will sympathize with my achy-breaky back? Jerry, of course. Jean, of course. Jane, Christian, and Jeff? Who else has suffered the agonies of turning over in bed with a twisted back?

My mighty fine doctor told me I wasn't getting any younger, he always tells me that, and that it takes six to eight weeks to overcome a twisted back injury, I wish he wasn't so sure about that. To add insult to injury, when I finally went to the doctor with my back woes the doctor stole some blood and urine then sent me a letter saying my other health issue numbers were inching up and to came back and see him. You just can't fudge with a good doctor.

I was coming home from Connor's birthday party and had on my pretty, shiny, black patent, slicky-soled, party shoes when one foot slipped out from under me on the wet condo bridge and I went down. If any photographer would have been around my twisted like a pretzel fall would have made u-tube in a nanosecond. My slippery foot went forward but nothing followed, so the stuck foot/leg merely twisted in about seven different directions as I went down on it. All of me went down on it. All 110 pounds plus went down on it. All of my left side went down on my right side.

You know you are getting older when you have heat on your back, ice on your ankle, and compression on your knee.

Now the miracles:
I was nine feet from my front door.
Or is that a tragedy?
Nothing broke.
Ian was there.
Ian was there to help.
Ian was there to help me up.
Ian was there to help me hobble inside.
Ian was there to bring me heating pads, ice bags, pain pills, water.
Ian was there to make a pain pill run since ours expired in August of 2009.
I had accumulated some time off days, finally.
I had already cooked for the week so all I had to do was hobble to the fridge and then hobble to the microwave and dinner was ready.
I had new movies from Netflix I could watch as I groaned on the couch.
Ian was there to set up the movies.
Ian was there.

Ian makes a really good nurse as long as he doesn't have a social engagement.

Before the fall of Jan, Connor's party was lovely. He was surrounded by three grandparents, two uncles, one aunt, two friends, and two lovely parents. He just wandered from arms to arms and lap to lap. I did see a flair of the famous Taylor Temper, or two year old temper, when the other little boy moved into Connor's gift area, not to manhandle a gift but just to get closer to watch him open his packages. I thought Connor would lose his mind. It didn't last long, but man did it flair, Taylor high. Or is that two year old high?

At first the electric piano won the day, then it was the forty year old Tonka dump truck that Jean had salvaged from Grandpa's sandpile and Roger had refurbished to mint condition, now it is the Duplo Legos that entertain him for hours. The little tent I had bought him was, well it was disappointing. A sheet would have been better. I won't be sucked into Thomas the Train tents again.

I hadn't seen Connor for about three weeks due to the aforementioned body injuries, so I drove over there last night for an abbreviated playdate and Connor came rushing out onto the porch, so happy to see his granny, a big smile on his face and hands working the air -- then he heard the leaf blower two houses away. Leaf blowers trump grannies every time.

Connor spent part of the evening carrying on complex, lengthy, conversations with the empty rooms. Is he too young to have imaginary friends? Maybe he is hearing things that go bump.

All of Ian's friends are either getting married or having babies. Christian is renting a room from my friend Claire for a while so his address can be struck from the books. Roger, Stephanie and Connor are adorable, sometimes I can't figure out who I love the most.

My friend Claire O'Keefe has lung cancer, so much of my expendable energy is going to her. Please put her on your prayer lists. I think Lynn already has her on several pagan prayer lists.

Book club is great.
Work is fine.
The commute is a commute.
I loved Mark's post, especially the tomato bit.

I saw a great, wonderful, weird, Swedish movie called You, The Living, fifty vignettes about the human condition. Fantastic if you like great wonderful weird Swedish movies.

Jerry, what clues did you pick up in the book The Heretic's Daughter that made you think she was a witch? I missed any and all of them, so my conclusion is she wasn't a witch. I thought the book was okay. I loved the historical part and the family connection, of course.

I loved Comanche Moon, I guess it was the Oklahoma connection, it certainly couldn't be the Comanche's penchant for torture and mutilation. Jeez they raped and murdered everyone. I loved breathing in the wide open spaces in the book. I still miss those expansive vistas, there is nothing quite like the plains for expansiveness, except maybe the ocean.

These days life is a commute and a heating pad, a movie and a heating pad, a little laundry or cooking and a heating pad, a Connor visit and a heating pad.

Maybe heating pads are the most underrated modern luxury.

Here is the link to the Tonka truck rebuild photo essay that Roger took, it's pretty amazing.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/99581982@N00/5335198008/in/set-72157625773574466/

And here is Connor playing with it: Men and their toys, and the truck keeps rolling along.

Words of wisdom - repost

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with, 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't...

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many i research.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for President and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice...

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the "target".

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The New Year -- 2011

2011 -- so far so good.

I read where so far every day in 2011 in Seattle has been sunny and dry. Well, until today, the clouds have moved in. And cold.

I went shopping for Connor's birthday present for his party on Sunday, a big two years old, and found the biggest present, but since I love Roger and Stephanie equally well, it comes in a wee package so as not to take up the whole of the downstairs. I'm so smart.

I was talking to a customer today, and as often happens, he asked where I was located. When I said Seattle he said, "Great game, I'm so glad the Seahawks beat the Rams."

Was there a big game or something I missed?

Then he went on to inform me that the Mariners were going to get a great player in Brennan Ryan. Who is Brennan Ryan? Is football over? Did the Seahawks win? When does baseball start?

As we just read on Jean's blog, she and Cathy and Brittany are traveling on.

As is Jerry and Jane. Jerry sent me an email and included the books he has been reading, here it is in it's entirety.

Hello Jan,

What's going on in the land of Seattle. All is well here. Had another great Christmas, spent time with all the family, then have another New Year. Jordan stayed with Amber for a week while Blaine went to Kansas. Everyone got what they wanted at Christmas. That works out good when they make out there own lists. We were in Andover Christmas Eve, Then to Amber's on Christmas day, then everyone at our house on the 26th. Jeffery, Michael and Summer came to Amber's on the evening of the 25th and then to our house on the 26th. A good time was had by all.

Jane is still having a lot of trouble with her back. I got steroid shots in both knees. Helped a lot. Maybe stave off replacement for a while.

Planning a trip to Las Vegas from the 20th to 24th. We always enjoy going, even though we are going a little later than normal . Green leaf for Spring break. Andover and Edmond are different weeks, so Jane and I will have to suck it up and spend 2 weeks there.

Amber got me a Kindle for Christmas with a $30 a month budget. I have liked reading on it. Very clear and the print is BIG. I read a little book on her account before I got mine set up. I also downloaded "The Count of Monte Cristo". One of the 5 million or so free books. Maybe I can get through them before I die. Taylor got me the "Autobiography of Mark Twain" for Christmas so I have it started. The preface is 208 pages long and this is volume 1 of 3 volumes. I may not get IT read before I die. I have 2 books from the library started. I am reading them online. "Bound for Glory", the autobiography of Woody Guthrie and "Washington", a biography.

I have finished:

"The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" - I enjoyed this book.

"The Heretics Daughter" - Was the daughter a witch?

"Miss Marple" - A fun little Agatha Christie book of short stories.

"Empire of the Summer Moon / Quanah Parker and the Rise and Fall of the Comanches" - As much as I enjoy history you know I would like this one.

"After the Darkness" - A book

"Free Range Kids" - An delightful book by the worlds worst mom.

"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" - I may have to read the next two.

"Waiting for Snow in Havana" - I don't know what to think of this book. Extreme rich and poor. A good reason for a revolution but the wrong leaders. They needed a George Washington. Was hugging the wrong way why dad kept Ernesto? around? A lot of thinking while reading that book.

"Cutting for Stone" - Checked it out but never got it read. Not interested enough to recheck.

"Kabal Beauty School" - Started but did not finish. Couldn't get into it.

Thats all for now

Lov Ya

Jerry & Jane


Me, I have read twenty-two pages of Earth Abides. I can't seem to get my reading swing back.

I have Connor's birthday party on the 9th, pirate theme, although he will be two tomorrow.
A medical call for Claire on the 11th.
Book club on the 12th.
What a social life I lead.
Alas no trips, short or long, near or far, are planned for my future.
2011 has begun and I am ready for what ever it bring.

Sometimes life is a packed suitcase with no where to go -- yet.

Mistakes on Greenleaf Trip Post

Sorry, I can't spell, so hope you can figure out my many mistakes. I have droopy eyelids, which will be fixed on Thursday. Love to all Jean

December at Greenleaf State Park

On December 26, Cathy, Brittany and I went to Greenleaf, we had a reservation for Cabin 10, however upon arrival Cabin on the Lake #15 was available for Sunday night. We checked in to The Cabin on the Lake, built a roaring fire in the fireplace. We reminisced about all the great times spent there and all the wonderful memories with Steve and Chuck. Brittany ran up and down the ramp to the lake, sat on the railing (as she did when she was about four), swung on the porch swing, we played games and ate snacks. On Monday we checked into Cabin 10, and continued on the journey we had planned. Monday evening we had dinner in Muskogee, toured Honor Heights Park for Christmas in the park. The lights were beautiful as if the flowers were in bloom. The we ventured to the The Castle to view Christmas blow-ups, approximately 1000 to 2000 depending on who was counting. Some reports said 1000, others 1500 and 2000. There were a lot on the drive thru, some in The Castle, there was also a petting zoo, camel rides, hayride and horse drawn buggy rides. The blowups ranged from Santa in all kinds of vechiles, sponge bob, the grinch, scooby doo, penguins, alien, snowmen, abdominal snowman and Nativity scences. There were all very interesting. A great tme was had by all. On Tuesday we returned to Oklahoma City.

For auld lang syne

As the song says: "Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and days of auld lang syne?"

"Auld Lang Syne"—the phrase can be translated as "long, long ago," or "old long since," but I like "old times past"—is a song that asks and answers a question.  The question it asks is clear: Should those we knew and loved be forgotten and never thought of? Should old times past be forgotten? And the song's answer is No, they shouldn't be. We'll remember those times and those people, we'll toast them now and always, we'll keep them close. "We'll take a cup of kindness yet -- for auld lang syne.3

So, here's to all my acquaintances, friends, and loved ones; past and present -- happy 2011!