Don't Fall off the Mountain

My car had a few creaks and squeaks so I took it to Christian for a once over. He said don't worry mom you aren't going to get stranded anywhere.

I said I'm not worried about getting stranded, I'm worried about something breaking and causing an accident as I drive down the highway. I don't want to kill Jerry and Jane while they are visiting.

He said you won't kill Jerry and Jane unless you drive off the mountain. Problem solved.

When Jane gets here I'm going to give her her prize for winning the "I'm Great" contest. Jane it's pink, shaped like a flamingo, and will fit in your suitcase. Love you.


Depression hit me like a Gong Show gong the other night. I chatted with Ian, went to bed, and wham down I went. All of a sudden I felt like my life was a failure. My job was a failure. I was a failure as a daughter, wife, sister, mother and friend. My health was iffy. My finances a joke. My car squeaky. My house dusty. I don't understand one damn thing about Medicare, Medicaid or Social Security. I don't dance and I'm smoking. How could It be any worse?

Hours I lay there not being able to go to sleep because of this well of depression. I thought to myself I've metered out. Then it hit me. I can seep into the murk and mire of reality and be depressed or lift myself up over the rim of reality and see the entire Universe spread out around me and live in a delightful world.

What is worse being delusional and escaping reality, living in a fantasy world and loving it, being better for it, or living below the clouds of the heavens mired in the gunk?

I've been visiting with people who hate their jobs, I don't.
Are really sick, I'm not.
Have real life problems with their children, mine are dandy.
My mother was grand.
My car got a clean bill of health.
I'll sort all the sixty-five shit.
Ian will dust, kind of.
The cupboards are full.
The checking account isn't empty.
I can still walk the streets to work.
Pay the mortgage.

So what if I don't dance anymore. I read, visit with friends, watch mediocre to good movies, eat, talk to people from all over the country, sing when I am alone, rattle around on the computer, drive in the country (with a healthy car,) ride ferries, look at my spectacular western exposure sunsets, feel the cool rains, laugh at my own jokes, anticipate company and anticipate new babies entering the world (Ian's friend Nila and Mary's daughter Lisa.) I also get to pick up from daycare, visit with, play with, smooch, nuzzle, dandle, enjoy, and just sit back and watch my wee grandson. Any two year old can learn eyes, ears, and nose, but lately I have been teaching Connor where his clavicle, elbow, and femur are.

So reality come on down, life is good. Every life has some garbage in it, but my garbage has a place to go and it isn't on my doorstep.

May your life be garbage free today.