Outward Gazing and Inward Gazing

Outward Gazing:

Whole lotta loving going on when it is Connor playdate. I put two pieces of candy, a banana, and a wet nap in his Thursday treat tin. He ignored the candy and banana and grabbed the wet nap and went into wet nap bliss -- I think. He wanted to clean the spot off the peeled banana, the dark shadow that was part of the picture in his picture book, his chin, hands, toys and me. When we went outside he told me I couldn't sit down until he ran upstairs for his sunglasses and retrieved his wet nap to clean the chairs. Oh, he is a fussy one.

I think I will take him another wet nap next week.

I've decided Connor is part meerkat -- the way his head goes up and swivels like it is on a hydraulic lift. I have seen this action before in other animals; baby birds in nests, rabbits in fields. It must be a survival instinct of the weak. Dogs will perk their ears while cats will scan with their eyes. Connor does keep an eye on the action.

Connor got upset with Brandy just like she was a sibling. He went to his daddy and complained, "Brandy barked at me."

It's hard to be a Granny when you can't make daddy behave. If I ask Connor a question, real or rhetorical, Roger answers.

Roger has a trailer hitch but no trailer yet.

I received my income tax and gave it to my car in appreciation of it's faithful service. New tires, master cylinder, tie-rods, and an alignment, now that baby ought to purr for a few more thousand miles.

Rain in Spring is better than rain in Winter. The pink rhododendrons are blooming.

Inward Gazing:

I read a story about a man who goes to construction sites and digs up the little trees that are getting ready to be bulldozed over and then replants them.

Where does that kind of inspiration come from? Is that up-lifting or inspiring? What is the difference? Is one action and one emotion?

What makes people passionate? What makes spirits soar and souls sing? Beauty, art, music, nature, skills, quotes, adventures? I asked Ian what he was inspired by and he said Mom. I asked Roger and he said artistic and athletic feats. I asked Christian and he said he doesn't get inspired.

For right now I'm going to go with anything that makes me think deeply, anything that changes me by the experience, anything that makes me feel renewed  -- I think I am back to Connor.

I finished the Tiger book, read The War of the Rats, had lunch with Claire and all my chores are done. The computer glitch I thought was my fault and it was keeping me off the blog was actually the blog renewing itself, upgrading, so now I am back on the blogging track.

Not exactly inspiring but very very comfortable. Back on track with my car, blog, computer, Connor and inward gazing.

Two Questions

Is fire chasing Jeff?
-- and --
Are tornado's chasing Cathy? Didn't one chase her to Branson? Didn't one go east of Dallas when she was in Tyler? Was Cathy in Norman today?

Just wondering.

One Perfect Day

After I received the advertisement, the urgent advertisement, warning me that being hard of hearing leads to dementia and Alzheimer's I figured I am doomed, so what the heck just enjoy the day.

Up early for a bit of Facebook time, computer time, making list time, and several cups of coffee.

A delicious leftover breakfast and when I say leftover, I mean leftovers of leftovers. The leftover roast from Easter Sunday's French dips became a savory Beef Pot Pie, which two days later became my delicious leftover breakfast.

The Sun came out with shirt sleeve weather, finally, and brilliant snow covered mountains and shimmering water. The absolute best of the Pacific Northwest showing some color at last.

Ian up early, well I had already had time to get up early, have a nap and get up again, but it was early for Ian.

Hair cuts -- mine was perfect cowlick and all, and Ian didn't complain about his.

Grocery shopping with a QFC run; meats and treats. My freezer was getting pretty bare and lucky me QFC was having a meat sale. I swear the chocolate cake was for Ian.

Library for a quick pick-up of waiting items.

Pharmacy for an early pick-up of meds -- and they were already done.

Lunch at Ivar's by the Ferry dock; perfect fish and chips, perfect french fries, perfect perfect clam chowder. More sunshine, mountains and water and Ian to make the food run and the trash run. Does it get any better? Well, yes it does.

I had Ian to haul in and put away all the groceries. Ian, does it get any better? Well, yes it does. He did the laundry and I didn't. I swear the chocolate cake was for him.

Movie time; The Descendants a wonderful, wonderful film.

A special delivery to my Little Chef Friend Amanda. I had promised her some fabric for the doll house she is making for her daughters, so instead of taking it to work for her to haul home on the bus, I did a drive by and gave her a bushel basket of fabric and the bushel basket. I included two Barbies from Ian's old collection with a shoe box of Barbie outfits. Jasmine and Snow White now have a new home and I have one square meter less stuff.

The playdate with The Connorman was a bit -- busy. I think he is still reeling from an Easter sugar high. He tried to lock me out on the patio, in a week or two I think he will be able to succeed. It's a good thing I have a secure access. I will be in real trouble when he can lock both the front and the back door. Or I won't go outside to smoke anymore.

The day care teacher said he hadn't got along with his fellow playmates at all until after his nap.

When I was fastening him in his car seat I nuzzled him and said I love you. He said you are too loud granny.

All afternoon he kept wanting things that I told him he would have to wait and ask his mommy about. Things like M & M's, chocolate bunnies, chocolate eggs, jelly beans, peeps, finally he heard the garage door open and ran to the back door, when Roger entered he threw himself down and said you aren't mommy. Yep a bit busy.

Roger and Stephanie were bubbling with good will and summer plans are shaping up. California in May, Colorado in July, a summertime cruise on the Fortener's boat sometime in between. They are going to forgo the Ragnar run this year to go to Stephanie's family reunion. They were going to go look at a camper so I came home a bit early.

Dinner at home was my QFC treat; a croissant and fresh tomato sandwich, perfect, perfect, perfect.

A first glimpse of a barely blooming rhododendron bush -- purple. A long chatty visit with Kathy. A bit of the Tiger book I'm reading. Some more Easter dinner left-overs -- fresh strawberries and pineapple, and no chocolate cake, I swear.

The only thing missing from my two son day was a Christian connection, but two out of three ain't bad. Besides, his left-over sparkle from Easter is still lingering. He talked, laughed, ate, entertained Connor, talked politics, work, movies, books, and music. He turned me onto some truly amazing music which I will now share with you.

Go to YouTube and watch Songs Around the World; Playing for Change especially Stand by Me and One Love they might bring a tear to your eye.

One perfect day. Life in the simple lane.

Lottery Fever and Mary's Facebook

I noticed something about lottery fever; it was interesting listening to people describe, in detail, what they would do with the money. A certain dream fever was unleashed. There was a smattering of cars, homes, travel, but generally the dreams were pretty modest. No one talked about climbing Everest or going to Hollywood and making a movie or paying for a medical education. Fascinating, but the most fascinating part was the lack of greed.

Folks were talking about what they would do for others; their parents, their kids, their friends. Everybody I talked to would give me some of their winnings. I guess that's why I never actually bought a ticket, I didn't need to, or I was just too lazy to go inside someplace and plunk down my dollar, or I no longer have dreams that lottery money can buy. I told one woman I wouldn't know what to do with millions of dollars and she answered she was perfectly willing to spend the rest of her life trying to figure that out.

All those unleashed dreams of good will has to fill the world with a little bit of afterglow. At least, it can't hurt.

Mary put on Facebook this quote from Daniel Dennett, an evolutionary biologist, and since I do believe in genetics -- passionately, I'm segueing from lottery to luck:

Freedom Evolves:

Every living thing is, from a cosmic perspective, incredibly lucky to be alive. Most, 90 percent and more, of all organisms that have ever lived have died without viable offspring, but not a single one of your ancestors, going back to the dawn of life on Earth, suffered that normal misfortune. You spring from an unbroken line of winners going back millions of generations, and those winners were in every generation, the luckiest of the lucky, one out of a thousand or even a million. So however unlucky you may be on occasion today. Your presence on the planet testifies to the roll luck has played in your past.

Thanks Mary.

Anyone remember Dory Previn's song The Empress of China? It's the same theory with a sadder ending, but then so was Dory.

I remember when Stephanie was so ready for a child and Roger was dragging his um... feet, so to speak. I told him Stephanie not only wants a child for herself, but also, it's hard to resist 26,000 years of biological drive. I wasn't smart enough then to think back to the dawn of life on Earth.

Our ancestors didn't get shot in the Sherwood Forest, didn't drown after a canoe tip over, didn't get eaten by a saber-tooth tiger, hanged by a Salem judge, nailed to a cross, lost at sea, freeze during a glacial age, or hit by a meteor.

Mom and dad were lusty, so I guess we come from a long line of lusty sons a bitches. Lucky us.

That of course hasn't protected us from broken bones. I don't know where this came from but my mind filled with all our broken bones. Everything from dad's back to James clavicles, to wrists, arms, legs, shoulders, ankles. Josephine broke everything from the pelvis down, but then that might occur if you step in front of a moving vehicle. For years we joked about how James seemed to take all the families broken bones like some kind of bone voodoo doll. We can't say that any more, so remind me of your broken bones. What have you broken? Anyone break a pinkie finger?

Somewhere in Tennessee a customer lives on Light Pink Road. How lucky am I to live in the same world with Light Pink Road? And Jane sent me some Vera Bradley jumbo binder clips just because. And Connor is coming over Easter, so I bought a chocolate bunny, got out some bunny books and stickers and am planning a balloon surprise if Christian cooperates. He mastered balloon creations a long time ago, just after he mastered juggling and before mastering skateboarding.

I read The Sibling Effect, pretty interesting, especially due to the fact that I am rich in siblings, but somehow I think it missed the heartbeat of siblings of our sort. It didn't address poverty much, or families with lots of siblings, and there was too much evidence to disprove what he had just given evidence for. Sometimes science sucks.

I also read A Visit from the Goon Squad for book club. I loved the Pulitzer Prize winning book, but where the jacket talked about Egan captures the undertow of self-destruction that we all must either succumb to; the basic human hunger for redemption...blah, blah, blah, I just felt like it was people accepting their life. ...And there wasn't enough family in it. People go through life with family around, parents and siblings.

I haven't seen a great movie lately, any suggestions?

Final thought of the day: I saw a truck heading up I-5 with the company name of Nancy Baer. I asked myself, in the manly world of trucking how many times do you see a woman's name emblazoned on the side? And that made me wonder just how many women drivers are out there in this great big beautiful world?

We aren't so limited as folks, and the world is actually huge.

Happy Easter to all you lucky folks and thanks mom and dad.