Fifty Shades of Family

On staying the same:

My favorite lecture, either number one or number two, is you don't change. You are always you.

I've been young/old, fat/thin, rich/poor, east coast/west coast, healthy/unhealthy, long hair/short hair, happy/sad, working/not working, no children/multiple children, yours/mine/ours, single/married/divorced/widowed. What and who you are, how God made you, or genes or DNA or whatever, is what and who you are. You are always you.

My other favorite lecture, either number one or number two, involves child rearing. Listen to every word your child shares -- and -- bribery. Bribery is the most undervalued parenting skill of all. Bribery works.

And that is all the lectures I own, but I do have three Starbucks stories.
#1.  I drove past a Starbucks at 8AM on a Sunday morning and there were NO cars.
"I passed a Starbucks and there were no cars, can you spell that without any 'r's'?"
#2.  A young smoking acquaintance downtown who works at Starbucks commented the other day, "Why are people coming to Starbucks to buy coffee? Don't their offices have coffee machines? They mostly just buy drip. I wouldn't spend my money on coffee." It reminded me of my tobacco man once telling me I smoked too much.
#3. 

If you scanned your eyes around your environment right now could you spy a penguin? China? Paper? Knick-knack? Cup holder? Blanket pattern? Slippers? Newspaper or magazine cover? Zoo calendar?

The weather man lied. It's not raining and 40 degrees this morning, it's brilliant and 30 degrees. The mountains are spectacular, the clouds are calm, the sound smooth, and the children at play.

Connor went with me to book club and I discovered he knows "out of the ordinary." Every squeak, groan, hiss, ping, rattle, every noise my car made, Connor heard, raised his head, cocked his ears and asked, "What's that?" Not only my car, but all the surrounding noises also, loud pops, screeching brakes, construction noise. Each and every whirring, whizzing, whispering, windy, clanging noise.

As for Connor's take on magic, interesting is all I can say. I took 438 Christmas stickers, and some old greeting cards and envelopes for him to mess with on our playdate yesterday. He was going to make me a card but I lost out to Santa. After he laboriously decorated a card, signed his name, addressed it to Santa and it was clutched in his hands he asked me where to put it so Santa would find it.

 I answered, in my reasonable granny voice, oh just put it under the Christmas tree or by the fireplace. Yes, granny, but how will Santa know it's for him? Well, Connor, because you wrote his name on it. Yes, granny, but how will he know it's for him?

I answered, in my reasonable granny voice, well Santa's magic, he will know it's for him. GRANNY, magic doesn't have any eyes and Santa doesn't have a wand. Final solution; he hid it in the couch cushions. I'm telling you, the boy knows magic, and whose to say he isn't right.

While Christian and Ian are visiting Bob in Texas, I'm caring for my grand-dog Tikki. Tikki went with me on my Connor playday, of course, and Tikki and Brandy got along fine until Roger came home and they heard the garage door open. Brandy knew to rush to the back door while Tikki charged the front door. Tikki realized the error of her ways, Brandy being more knowledgeable of the two, so she corrected her trajectory and went to the back door also. Brandy let her know with the sweetest little barkish growl that greeting Roger was her prerogative and to back off. Tikki did, about one half of a dog length, and they both yipped Roger into the house.

A lot of people have been participating in the "things you don't know about me" on Facebook? I can't play that game because everyone knows everything about me, but it did get me thinking about the things I might not know about family.

Has Jennifer made a dress?
Has Nora been to the top of the Sears tower?
Has Jason skydived?
Summer driven a motorcycle?
Michael eaten an artichoke?
Judy touched an elephant?
Claire spotted a celebrity?
Cathy climbed a mountain?
Chris made a wedding cake?
Brittany flunked a test?
Marc been to Turkey?
Amber jumped off a cliff?
Andrew got drunk?
Jacquie braided her hair?
Benjamin driven a truck?
Dan stepped on a rattlesnake?
Hannah dyed her hair?
Blaine flown alone?
Taylor bounced a drunk?
Clark skied?
Jordon been to Disneyland?
Jackson won a swimming race?
Roger played horseshoes?
Stephanie played a guitar?
Connor played with a Barbie?
Christian played musical chairs?
Bo played checkers?
Ian danced naked?
Julie seen a dog she didn't like?
Brandon bitten Tal?
Mark swallowed a fly?
Jake been lost in the desert?
Does Kenny like gum?
And anything about Janelle, Scott, spouses, and kiddos?

...and I can't remember my third Starbucks story. Oh the woes of ageing.
Love to one and all.

My kids are getting shoes for Christmas.