An Alternative to Killing

Kill. Kill. Kill.
Let's all go kill someone.
Killing in schools. Killing in Gaza, Killing in Africa. Killing at the movies. Killing in Afghanistan. Killing at borders. Ethnic, religious, territorial, passion, betrayal, control, statement, attention, king and country, initiation, fun, for oil, are there more reasons to kill than not to kill?

When is it okay not to kill?
What happened to man's humanity to man?
What happened to "thou shall not kill?"
Love thy neighbor?
Do not covet?

Bodies pile up with depressing regularity. Does anyone else feel helpless? Preaching to the choir is useless. I can't change any countries foreign policy, voting for gun control or joining any kind of "let there be peace on Earth" movement seems weightless, inconsequential. And that is just the deliberate killing and doesn't include collateral, accidental, negligence, ineptitude, drunk. How long will it take us to get back to primitive times when it is every tribe for itself? Never mind, I think we are already there, actually never left.

If in spite of mankind travelling deep into space, cell phones, pizza parlors, helium balloons, radiant purple nail polish, strong deodorant, and pets killing isn't deterred, how can I? If  millions of churches, synagogues, temples, covens, ashrams can't teach humanity to stop killing each other, how can I?

I have a thirty year old photograph of a 7 year old holding an AKA 47 machine gun protecting a leader.

I have never experienced a night where someone might come through with a rocket, or machete or gas to wipe me out. I've never experienced a society where if I lay my gun down for peace my enemy will take advantage of that stupidity and shoot me.

Is this survival at it's basest?

With the recent deaths in the family, with the sure knowledge that you never know when it will be the last time you see, kiss, hold, or comfort a loved one I'm feeling some death anxiety. I'm reaching for beauty. Imagine scales of time with killing on one side and life on the other, is the world in balance?

Humanity has survived so much, come so far, reached for the stars and sought depth of understanding in the world's smallest matter. We have lived to an age where we justify our own existence. Do we willingly brush that aside?

I'm losing confidence, I'm losing focus of the infinite moments of beauty, love, compassion. Yes, I believe life goes on, maybe not humanity, but life in one form or another will go on. I do believe one way to make the world a better place is to make yourself a better person. I hearken back to the Portuguese Fisherman's Prayer, "Guide me, please, my boat is so small and the ocean so wide."

Generous thoughts for generous people. The simple regular world I live in; Connor learning to swim, Jean and her healthy heart, birds, songs, Alaska, a setting Sun or a rising Moon. The ones who make the world worthwhile. The world where my worst is a torn fingernail, a flat tire, a slow commute. A world easy to live in. A world of Roger cooked hot dogs, lunch with Christian, sweet Ian. Humor, love, joy, it's all still there to be plucked at will.

A tribe of one on the side of peace among many tribes of one. Thank you for the beauty you bring to the world. Thank you Jerry and Jane for the card and cartoon, you are part of the good ones. The world goes on in all it's madness and beauty.

"Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me."

I yield the quandary unanswerable and drift back to the daily mundane life of mine.
My heart aches for those under fire as I drift to dust.