What if?
Jean had become a teacher?
Janice an accountant?
Jerry a forester of some sort?
Jan a writer or artist or fashion designer?
Julia an adventurer?
Jeff? What ever his heart's desire might have been.
I'm sorry Jeff, I haven't a clue.
But "what if" those professions had become our world?
As the speeches at Josephine's funeral were about fearlessness,
Would the speeches at Jean's funeral be any less about love?
Would the speeches at Janice's funeral be any less about success, helping so many financially, her no nonsense, practical, don't tolerate fools attitude?
Jerry's any less about protecting, taking care of, covering the backs of his loved ones?
Mine any less about creativity, flakiness, being an odd ball rebel?
Julia's any less about adventures? Always taking a high road, a low road, a hill climb, driving to TX for fun in full Texas summer heat, or driving to Texas for bird watching (not many you know have done that) driving to California just because, going to the zoo, any zoo, many zoos, wandering around with a child attached to her, whether niece or nephew or son or daughter. Always providing an adventure, an experience -- theatrical or natural or artistic.
Jeff's be any less about his humor, his contentment, helpfulness, his ability to tell a funny story, his ability to take any story and make it funny no matter what or how bad that experience was?
Professions don't make the person. Jane would be a nurse with or without a degree. Tal would be slow moving and thoughtful, reading at all hours of the day and night, never ruffled or overly excited, taking life in stride with an ornery sense of humor intact no matter what, appreciative of human foibles no matter what.
We as siblings and humans are so much more. I don't really know where I am going with these thoughts, just having them, loving my family, thinking of them, appreciating them. Aware of the travails the Milam cousins are having now and thinking of them, appreciating them, wishing them peace.
I watched the Roger Ebert documentary film, Life, Itself, and borrowed this quote: "We must contribute joy to the world. I didn't always know this and I am happy I lived long enough to find this out."
As am I.
Jerry recommended a book, The Colorado Kid. This was a great recommend for me because it helped articulate my beliefs. I believe we are surrounded by the mysteries of life, but become mired down in knowing, absolutely, that our beliefs are right, instead of being wibbel-wobbly about our beliefs, because nothing is certain.
Our great, wide, wild, space and time isn't done yet. The infinity of our great, wide, wild, space and time has many mysteries to reveal. All the stuff humans know 100%, for sure, absolutely, is mostly wrong. Everything changes in space and time. Did you know you are never, never, never supposed to give your infant rice cereal as a first food? Everything changes. If humans, parents, doctors, science, and corporate America can be wrong about so simple a thing as infant rice cereal how exponentially wrong can we be about the Universe, God, infinity?
Stephen King wrote in this book that as humans, "We are in free fall from where ever to ain't-got-a-clue" Or on a sunny February afternoon in Jerry's back yard Jerry mentioned Neil DeGrassi, who suggested, investigation should not stop at God. "Why stop there?"
It is so much bigger than me.
John Houston said, "It is so much bigger than me it would be impertinent to say what it is." Loved that thought 40 years ago, love it today. There is a tendency to fill-in-the-blanks with probable, logical, spiritual, the maybe, the wish-it-were-so, to connect the dots, always striving for absolute understanding. Understandable is comforting, but it ain't necessarily the truth. What if mankind doesn't have answers for another 26,000 years, does that make us less valuable today? A little illumination is lovely, but it's mighty big out there and a small candle of illumination just doesn't shed light on the whole. Even the Sun can't illuminate the whole world. We have come a far piece, got a piece to go.
God, goat, or nothing at all I am all in.
Mystery is enough, for me, for now.
As long as I am in a quoting mood here are two more:
"Worry is the misuse of the imagination." Don't have the author.
Art Buchwald died at age 81, he said what he most regretted in his long life was not eating enough eclairs.
A young friend, Lisa Bruce, posted on Facebook a picture of a huge blackboard wall she found in Mt Vernon with the simple words Before I die I want ______ and then the chalk so anyone wandering by could fill in the blank.
What if we continue to people the world with folks like us; loving, protecting, adventurous, thrifty, healing, studious, content, artistic? Would the world be a bad place?
What if we change things, open ourselves to new experiences, observe, watch, make connections, strive for mindfulness, take time to be alone, chase passionate dreams, ask questions, daydream, take risks, or go with the flow, all part of a list of attributes of creative folks, would the world be worse off?
What if I could make someone happy today?
What if I could sink in mystery today?
What if my three sons came to the family reunion this year?
That would make me happy, that is a mystery I will think about.
"If you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far go together."
African proverb
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