Friday, July 17, 2015

A Funny Thing Happened

I watched three depressing documentaries:

The Pruett-Igoe Myth
The Salt of the Earth
The Pervert's Guide to Ideology

Don't watch them! They were good, interesting, informative, different, thought provoking, eye-opening, and many other things, but scary and depressing. Social commentaries all; Man's inhumanity to man, social experiments that failed, man's ability to rationalize the truth into something else.

I've just spent weeks with depressing Facebook posts, not enough of Judy singing Happy Birthday Papa and too much I hate Obama, save the confederate flag, save the rainbow flag, who is a hero and who isn't, who is or isn't baking a frigging cake, who can and can't get birth control, is the world warming or not, my rights were violated, murder, mayhem, man's inhumanity to man, social experiments of dubious outcome. Not enough Dalai Lama and shining light in the world.

I want some meatloaf, my meatloaf, my homemade meatloaf.
My comforting meatloaf with green beans and mashed potatoes.

I want more love.

Like Roger saying he is going to help Christian move.
WHAT? Christian's moving?
Mom, didn't you know Christian has a new job?
No!
I'm helping him move his tool chest.
Oh, the things mother's don't know.
Hum, is that more love?

Like Jean saying Jerry is planning a September trip to Seattle.
WHAT?
Hasn't Jerry told you?
No!
Oh, the things sister's don't know.

Bring me some comforting coffee, a comforting movie, a comforting book, a smile or two

Jeff's getting old. Oh, say is ain't so. Jean losing a part of herself. My tomato plant growing taller than me, NO tomatoes, but a beautiful plant. Book club morphing. Claire getting settled in Minnesota. Ian being gone and I've had to do all those hum-drum chores myself. Carry out the trash, carry in the groceries, check the mail. Not bad news, but a little dis-settling. Discombobulating as it were.

And my dust that never, never, never goes away. Although I suppose it would if I dusted it. I can dream about that.

"We are not responsible for our dreams they come from some unfathomable depth and we can do nothing about it." The Pervert's Guide to Ideology.

I think it is funny that love might be where we plant our eyes. Is that denial?
I think it is funny that comforting might be what ever is available. Is that rationalization?
I think it is funny that hopes and dreams come from the same unfathomable place. Is that a social commentary?

It is funny.

I want more of Connor's fascinating questions.
If a million million peices of puzzle were water would it put out a forest fire?
No, Connor it wouldn't.
Where does metal come from?
Melted rocks heated hot,hot, hot.
Melted rocks like lava?

I want Connor to continue to entertain himself with fascinating questions, and continue to entertain me. I want Jeff to continue to be as happy as he can be -- even old. Jean to walk pain free. Jerry and Jane to travel to Seattle with or without announcement. Christian to accept what is best for him. Ian to travel. Nora to get married. Julia to bird watch. Book club to morph. Boys to bike. Fireworks to whiz. Breakfasts and pedicures with friends. Judy to sing.

A funny thing happened on my way through three depressing documentaries. Mankind is the same. The world is the same. The universe is the same. I don't think you have to choose between a wounded soldier and Caitlyn Jenner. Bravery, like beauty, comes in many forms. Is Jean any less brave for undergoing extreme surgery because she isn't a wounded soldier? I think it is where you plant your eyes.

I texted Christian, it seems he received an offer he couldn't refuse. He will explain later.
Is that more love?

A funny thing happened on my way through three depressing documentaries.

I am the same.

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