Feelings

Feeling good?
Feeling grumpy?
Feeling sad?
Feeling curious?
Feeling antsy?
Feeling lucky?

Talking about bathrooms...

Onlineshoes.com's customer service bathroom is in a warehouse and so it is a warehouse type bathroom, yes the toilets flush and there is the appropriate paper, but it is huge, cavernous, cold, with two tablespoons of hot water and no amenities. Did I mention it was cold? Visitors from corporate hold their urine as long as they can so they don't have to trek to the dreaded warehouse bathroom and risk freezing a very important part of themselves. Warehouse workers wear long johns just to keep warm after going to the bathroom. On Seattle's hottest days this place is cold, cold, cold. I've even known a few employees to make a MacDonald's run to stay away from the chillish place.

Anyway...

I once visited corporate Onlineshoes with it's plush carpet, it's full kitchen, it's spectacular view of Lake Union, it's curved hallways, it's expansive layout, it's artwork. It is beautiful beyond compare, it has an on site Starbucks for frickens sake, but the only thing I lusted after, and I do mean the only thing I lusted after, was their corporate bathrooms. It was the middle of December and their bathrooms were heated, warmly, gently, pleasantly, they had hot and cold running water, automatic flush toilet, toilets warm to the derriere, automatic water faucets that turned on and off by themselves, think of the germs you won't pick up, scented hand soap, lotions, Kleenex, everything you would want in a first class corporate bathroom except a tip bowl. Did I mention it was heated. I visited the corporate bathroom in December and couldn't see my breath when I went into the water closet to relieve myself.

I learned what envy is...

It seemed like every time I went to our warehouse lavatory, which at my age and condition is more than once a shift, I'm pretty much an every two hour person, anyway, every time I went to our bathroom I felt that pang that harsh sting of corporate envy.

Feeling envy?

Do you believe envy prayers can be answered?

Well it looks like our new customer service call center will move to the downtown corporate offices. I wanted a bathroom like corporate and I'm getting a bathroom JUST LIKE CORPORATE. I will also get the warmth, view, artwork, security card, elevator, soap, lotions, Kleenex, scented air, Starbucks and the fortish mile commute.

At least it isn't that 2,500 mile commute to the east. It is a spits distance from the downtown REI, I can go there on my lunch hour and look at the exercise equipment. No, I can't, my lunch hour is before REI even opens. Oh where are those carpool lanes? When do the express lanes open up for South bound traffic? How do you get a bus/Sounder pass? Look out Seattle here I come.

Who said be careful of what you wish for? Of all the possible places our owner could have decided to move the call center this was the only one that I think could have surprised me. I had mentally prepared myself for anywhere, anywhere, but this caught me su-r-pri-s-ed! Well, obviously I didn't prepare myself THAT good, so now I'm feeling slightly abashed, a little goofish/foolish, but looking forward to getting yanked out of my rut. Oh wait a minute, Ian said I will just have a new rut.

Life isn't always a four mile commute.