And Now It Begins

And now it begins -- with a hicup or two.

Retirement?
Printer is out of ink.
Pharmacy gave me the wrong prescription.
I entered the wrong account number for unemployment benefits.
VCR died.
I only used the beautiful new alarm clock Ian gave me for three weeks.
Depression is seeping in.
I waited 45 minutes to talk to the wrong 401K company.
Insomnia.
I'm running out of dishwasher soap because I'm dirtying more dishes.

Depression is in.
I can't believe how depressed I am. I need to push eight buttons to begin and can't seem to push anyone of them. All of them seem to have a roadblock I need to overcome.

I will overcome them -- I just haven't yet.

My orchid that has been naked for four months, now has two new buds on it.
I've gone on tiny walks three days in a row.
My body doesn't hurt. My smart friend told me all the tension I've been carrying around waiting for Onlineshoes to move to the final destination, is now gone.
I haven't driven on I-5 once in over a week.

My social life is ramping up.
Coffee with Mary.
Playdate with Connor.
The Rusty Pelican with James.
Northgate Mall play area to meet Hope's son. And see Hope.
Meeting friends in the similar situation and with sympathetic vibes.
Friends who understand the spot I am in.
It is all good.

I tell myself, It's okay to do it badly.

New opportunities.
Stephanie sent me a Linkedin list of possible job suggestions: all of them good and some of them I would never have thought of.
Roger had good suggestions, and a few threats.
Mary had good suggestions, and no threats.
Ian brings me nighttime coffee if he is passing our favorite barista before it closes.

Back to Social Security I go for the final piece of my insurance.
Plan D.

Who knew being retired would be such hard work.

My two favorite "hard work" quotes;
The first time I tried hiking up Elk Mountain in The Wichita Wilderness Wildlife Refuge with baby Ian on my back and Christian circling me with energy, excitement, and anticipation an old fellow passed me by and said, "Hard Verk, hard verk." Yep, he had that right.

The second is from the movie Millions where the young boy found lots and lots and lots of money, millions actually. He wanted to do good while his brother wanted to buy investment property. Towards the end, when all seems in shambles, he tells his dad. "Giving it away was hard."

The sun will come out. I'll go to back to SS, I'll complete all my required unemployment obligations and sign up properly. I'll start my clean out campaign, buy some computer ink, get a new VCR, walk, go back to the pharmacy and get the correct apparatus for diabetes monitoring, have some coffee, laugh with a friend, and possibly eat a biscuit. I have already corrected my account number.

One down and several more to go. Well one more to go: I just need to tackle the biggest bug-a-boo;
which Advantage program, which Advantage program, which Advantage program. 

I was told once the only thing you need to overcome depression is walk, talk, and write.
Seems to work for me. New emotional energy is a blessed thing.

That's all.
And a very good morning to you.