Father's Day, Am one, Have one, Lost one.

Some random thoughts about what it means to be and have a dad.

Am one
First, being a dad myself, I thought of my own children and the miraculous means by which they came to be mine. At 42 I met Amber, thanks to my Cupid brother-in-law (born on Valentine's day), and immediately recognized that, what other men might think of as baggage, I thought of as blessings. I can still remember little Hannah and Blaine playing in the driveway as I drove up to their house on Clearcreek the first time. Posing as small children playing they were actually miniature spies on the look-out for some man coming to their house for dinner. They were so small and cute and innocent, not knowing what they were getting into with this funny looking man courting their mother. The vision of them makes me tingle and when I look back I almost giggle thinking about them with their sometimes shy, sometimes brash behavior. As for Taylor, I had met him a few days earlier when he came with his mom for a Coke at Johnnies. He had a special role in his immediate family of "little man" and as such was charged with accompanying mom to scope out her suitor. He did then and has always since related well to adults. His mom told me he related better to his grade school teachers than he did to his fellow students. Today after over 9 years of knowing them I am comfortably, proudly their dad. Knowing well that God's purpose for us as parents is that we truly only learn to be selfless though having and caring for children... we also learn patience, laundry, cooking, laundry, delivery and pickup, and oh yeah, did I mention laundry? Unlike being an engineer, or whatever I am at work, being a dad matters infinitely more and therefore deserves infinitely more of my attention. I’m not there yet, some day soon, maybe. But however I am doing, I believe that it is with God’s help that I do it. I truly believe that when I prayed to God for a soul mate, he told me that I could not have one without patience. So he also gave me a way to get that... Taylor, Hannah, and Blaine!

Have one
One of my favorite books of the Bible is Job. And one of my favorite passages in that book is (paraphrasing) " Behold my servant Job, for he is a perfect man". People talk about someone having "the patience of Job", I would also add, "or Jerry". And many of you who know him would also perhaps put him well up on the list of men who might be considered perfect dads. Now I'm sure there are some sisters and brothers out there who might argue that he has not always been this close to perfect, and I know his wife might take issue with this as it pertains to some of the self incriminating stuff that sometimes slips out, but as dads go, Amber and I would say he' pretty close to perfect. My father-in-law is the personification of patience and is pictured in Wikopedia under the phrase: "mellows with age". Maybe it’s the 20 year old single malt scotch he drinks, or maybe it's the wine. Whatever it is, he's mastered it well, and all of us are the benefactors. Happy father's day Dad. When I grow up, I want to be just like you!

Lost one
Some of you reading this have lost their Dad. Some of you are grandparents, or even great-grandparents, and thus it is a natural occurrence. Some of you are young and some are just not so old, but our time with them is finished. My allotted time ended when I was just 35. As a result, none of you ever met my dad, Gary, but knowing me, and having met my Mom, you have part of the picture. Amber says that if he were alive today, she'd hug him, and then she’d also probably punch him. The hug would be for the stuff he instilled in me that has made me a good husband and father. My Dad taught me so many things, not on purpose, but just by being who he was and making sure I knew what he stood for. Among those were: be frugal, the store brand is just as good; do the job right, don't quit until it’s done; work comes before play, pay your bills first; you can't eat atmosphere; family comes first; don't worry about what others who do not know you think of you; take care of your family, be dependable, stay... no matter how bad it gets, stay. (Do you see a pattern here?) --Thus the reason for Amber's need to punch him. There’s not very much in the compassion department, at least outwardly. Flawed as he was, he was always my Dad and good or bad, much of who I am comes from the example he set for me. As a dad myself, that kind of scares me. So, if you're watching, Dad, happy father's day.